The Jerry Springer Show is now a sponsor of NASCAR.
No, this is not a joke.
Yes, really.
Best known for its wide variety of bizarre people, some of whom even appear to take great care in brushing their tooth, the Springer show will be a partner sponsor for 12 races in the Monaco NASCAR Winston West Series. What does this mean? No, no, not the end of the world.
It means The Jerry Springer Show logo will be prominently displayed on Kevin Richard’s Chevrolet Monte Carlo, although it’s not clear if Richard has to wear a tube top and a lot of makeup during races too.
Like many cars, Richard’s car will have a camera inside, and you have to believe there’s plenty of room in the back for a husband, his wife, her sister who’s carrying his baby but who’s in love with his twin brother.
Maybe Steve The Bodyguard sits up front and keeps all those fake punches from actually landing. Meanwhile, Jerry mans the crew back in the pits, although if he decides to hold one more “Final Thoughts” during a pit stop, it’s going to absolutely kill their average lap time.
Lovely. And NASCAR was doing so well without this.
FISH OUT OF A JOB: How tough is it out there? The Florida Marlins did not renew the $80,000 annual contract for team mascot Billy the Marlin, who even offered to take a cut in pay and work in the office. The team says it hired a new mascot who brought “more energy” to the position.
BALLS OUT: In a serious blow to Wiffle Ball makers across the nation, Major League Baseball announced a new six-year deal that will have major-league games using Rawlings Sporting Goods baseballs through 2008.
TURN THE CORNER: Kansas City Chiefs star Priest Holmes had hip surgery and is expected to be running at full speed in June. But from what though? That’s the question.
RIVALRY RANT: The Cubs sent former White Sox draft pick Bobby Hill back to the minors after batting .154 (8-for-52) and committing five errors this spring. Pause and listen to thousands of White Sox fans laughing.
TO BE CONTINUED: NFL owners rejected a proposal to give each team the ball in overtime, so sudden death lives to die another day.
THIS JUST IN: The Associated Press reports that with a whirl of triple jumps and a disarming smile, Elena Sokolova solidly emerged as Russia’s newest force in women’s skating Wednesday. And this sentence concludes today’s coverage of figure skating.
SAVE IT: Philadelphia Phillies manager Larry Bowa was ejected from an exhibition game after yelling at Toronto’s pitcher for hitting Jim Thome. Good to see Larry in midseason form.
NOT TOO YOUNG TO DRIVE: Michelle Wie, the 13-year-old golf phenom, has been given a sponsor’s exemption to play in the ShopRite LPGA Classic in late June. You’re a little bit impressed and more than a little bit jealous.
ROCK, CHALK … : Kansas basketball coach Roy Williams says he hasn’t ruled himself out as a candidate for the UCLA job. Does this mean he wants to go to UCLA or wants more to stay at Kansas?
SPEAKING OUT: In denouncing CBS for its Masters golf tournament coverage, Martha Burk said, “Broadcasting the Masters now and showcasing a club that discriminates against women is an insult to the nearly quarter million women in the U.S. armed forces.” Mark your calendars: As war rages on in Iraq, Burk said she will be protesting in front of CBS this weekend too.
