1. Routing Thomas
Dear Frank: What was that about no-names unworthy of being All-Stars? Couldn’t hear you over the resounding thud you’ve made against the Tigers.
2. It’s a wash
Boston catcher Jason Varitek beat Thomas in online voting for the final American League All-Star spot. Any dry cleaner will tell you: when Red and White Sox mix, red always wins out.
3. Be like Sprite
Some say Kobe Bryant’s bankable image is taking a hit while sexual assault allegations linger. No worries: Image is nothing, thirst is everything.
4. Play to pay
Despite its worst season in 41 years,
Nebraska will give its football coaches more than $150,000 in bonuses. They had been living mostly off tips from players.
5. Membership has its privileges
NASCAR actually docked something called “owner points” from a racing team’s boss. That anything like George Steinbrenner’s frequent “fire” miles?
SIXTHMAN
6. Applied math
The Bears might spend a supplemental draft pick on speedy RB Tony Hollings. Quick quiz: If the A-Train leaves the line of scrimmage at just 3.4 yards per carry, how long will it take to get booted from the new Soldier Field?
———-
Edited by the Sports staff of RedEye




