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When I was expecting my first child five years ago, I was under the impression that somehow it was better not to know the sex of the baby until the day he or she popped out.

“That way it will be a surprise,” I told my friends.

Soon enough I discovered that a first-time mother’s labor day holds more surprises than you can shake forceps at, and so a little certainty in the delivery room is not an unwelcome thing. Plus, not knowing pretty much guarantees that your baby shower gifts will come in two colors only: light green or pale yellow.

So when I went in for my 22-week ultrasound this time around, I made sure the technician knew that I definitely wanted to know; in fact, I badgered her throughout the process to tell me what I was going to have. But after more than 30 minutes of scooting that sensor in the goo on my belly, we were never able to get a conclusive look at the crucial part of my child’s anatomy. Clearly, I was not going to get any answers from modern science. I had no other choice than to turn to voodoo–or at least a few unorthodox methods based more on superstition than hard science.

A quick scan of the Internet and chats with friends turned up dozens of methods that can allegedly point you in the right direction.

So I subjected myself to as many tests and determiners as I could. The answers they produced are at right.

Tests that said `boy’

14 TOTAL

– I had morning sickness.

– Pregnancy has me looking slightly better than before.

– I am carrying the extra weight out front.

– I am carrying low.

– My hair does not have red highlights.

– My hands are very dry.

– No acne during pregnancy.

– My urine is bright yellow.

– I crave salty and sour foods.

– I crave protein like meats and cheeses.

– I don’t crave sweets.

– I gladly eat the heel of a loaf of bread.

– When I hang my wedding ring over my stomach from a strand of hair, it goes in a circle.

– My baby looks like a basketball as opposed to a watermelon.

Tests that said `girl’

10 TOTAL

– I am moodier than usual during pregnancy.

– I rest on my right side.

– I waddle when I walk.

– My feet are not colder than they were before pregnancy.

– The hair on my legs is not growing faster than before pregnancy.

– I crave fruit.

– Adding my age at conception to the month of conception comes up with an odd number.

– Preschool-age boys (i.e. my son and his friends) show interest in me during my pregnancy.

– A golden pendant held over my palm goes in a circle.

– The dad-to-be is not gaining weight with me.

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What did Monica actually deliver? PAGE 2