Not sure where I stand when it comes to nationally televising little boys and their often tear-filled agony at the Little League World Series.
This is mainly because I usually watch from the couch.
Pool play starts Friday and this has nothing to do with swimming at the Holidome. In the beginning, TV only televised the tourney’s title game, and it almost always ended in a score like this: Far East 135, U.S. 0.
Now, thanks to ESPN’s successful cloning experiment, there are enough TV channels to show earlier rounds, so many that the mopes in your office can actually draft a fantasy Little League team.
I like the arm on that kid from Glace Bay, Nova Scotia.
And no matter what his name is, use a high pick on the shortstop from Altagracia, Venezuela.
DISCLAIMER: Perhaps that’s being too hard on the little guys. I confess I was once cut from a Little League baseball team. The disappointment was crushing. Sure, it was just last year, but some wounds heal slowly.
WAIT A MINUTE: Sports Illustrated says eight samples of Boston Red Sox great Ted Williams’ DNA are missing from the cryonics company where his corpse is stored. In an unrelated story, Boston’s Nomar Garciaparra homered in four straight games last week.
BE BLUNT: So blowhard Jeremy Shockey apologized for calling Bill Parcells a “homo.” Come on, Shockey isn’t sorry he used the word. He’s sorry he used it in front of a reporter.
JUST BEAUTIFUL: ESPN the Magazine’s Dan LeBatard describes Shockey as “the middle finger New York copyrighted.”
DEEP ROOTS: Atlanta Hawks interim coach Terry Stotts interviewed for jobs in Milwaukee, Philadelphia and New York. The Hawks made him the full-time coach. “I’m glad to be part of the Hawks,” Stotts said. Well of course you are.
CHILD’S PLAY: In case you missed it,
Wiffle Ball turned 50 years old this week.
Is it wrong to cry on an occasion like this?
I mean, a friend of mine did.
PERSPECTIVE: The widow of baseball Hall of Famer Roy Campanella plans to auction off his three National League MVP awards. If you happen to buy all three, you’ll still have one less than Barry Bonds.
DELIGHTFULLY TACKY: Coastal Carolina’s new football stadium is named Brooks Stadium after chairman of Hooters Bob Brooks donated $2 million. Plus, coaches must walk sidelines in nylons and orange shorts while serving chicken wings.
YET UNREFINED: A Nebraska school district is offering high school stadium naming rights for $500,000. Sorry, for $500,000 you only get the veggie tray and a booth in the back.
MEET AND GREET: President Clinton attended a New York Mets game this week and shook hands with fans, even some of the male ones.
FICKLE ME: NFL rookie Byron Leftwich, my one-time favorite college QB, finally reported to the Jaguars with just one week left in their sweltering training camp. That was either very smart or very dumb.
TURNING PRO: Carmelo Anthony will be on the cover of EA Sports’ NCAA March Madness 2004 college basketball video game, which makes the Denver Nuggets the favorite to win their first ever NCAA title.
OLD SCHOOL: Excited about the X Games? Me too. Not too many people know this, but the very first X Games were cut short because the cops chased the competitors out of that 7-Eleven parking lot.
SMOKE IN THEIR EYES: When Portland Trail Blazers center Arvydas Sabonis announced his retirement, his teammates probably just giggled and then finished off those Cool Ranch Doritos.
INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO: NBC tabbed studio host Pat O’Brien as the 2004 Olympics morning show host on NBC-owned Bravo. James Lipton must be livid.
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ccmalcolm@tribune.com
