MATCHUP: Dallas 38 at Detroit 7
WHIZZER SAID: How ’bout dem Cowboys (-3)? I’m wearing chaps right now.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Dallas’ Terry Glenn snagged three TD catches. In the first half.
BUFFET-STYLE: Cowboys (5-1) matched win total from each of the last three seasons. Joey Harrington pulled for Mike McMahon. Ouch.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Under Bill Parcells, the Cowboys have won five straight for the first time since 1994. The Lions (1-5) are not faring much better than they did the past two years with Marty Mornhinweg. Creepy.
“I hope this is the bottom,”
Steve Mariucci said. Yes, you better.
MATCHUP: New Orleans 45 at Atlanta 17
WHIZZER SAID: Easiest pick of the week. Take the Saints. (-1 1/2)
DRIVE-THROUGH: Aaron Brooks (three TD passes) did good. Atlanta (507 yards allowed) did not.
BUFFET-STYLE: Falcons coach Dan Reeves stuck on 199 career wins. Team owner Arthur Blank said, “I have confidence in this staff.” Right.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: New Orleans (3-4) won its second in a row. The Falcons (1-6) have lost six in a row. Correction: The Falcons have been trampled in six in a row giving up an average of 34.5 points a game. Ex-Schaumburg and Illini QB Kurt Kittner (9-of-29, 115 yards, 1 TD) got the start.
MATCHUP: at St. Louis 34 Green Bay 24
WHIZZER SAID: Rams (-4) make life worth living. Sometimes.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Marc Bulger threw 3 TD passes; Brett Favre threw 2. Bada-bing.
BUFFET-STYLE: Brett Favre (23-of-32, 268 yards) is now 12-21 in domes. It’s so bad he’s ripping off the roof to his own house.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Green Bay (3-4) rallied against St. Louis (4-2), but the comeback fizzled after a 1-yard TD toss to William Henderson pulled Green Bay within 21-17 in the third quarter. Ahman Green wasted a beautiful day indoors: 20 carries for 35 yards.
MATCHUP: Tennessee 37 at Carolina 17
WHIZZER SAID: Call it “The Bash of the Titans (+1 1/2).”
DRIVE-THROUGH: The Titans turned 4 fumbles into scores. And Bingo was his name-o.
BUFFET-STYLE: Down early in front of a home crowd, the once-undefeated Panthers (5-1) played to a chorus of boos before halftime.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Steve McNair threw for 1 TD and ran for another. Doesn’t he do this, like, every game? Keith Bullock scored on a 35-yard fumble recovery, and Tennessee (5-2) got another TD with a 50-yard pass on a fake punt.
MATCHUP: New England 19 at Miami 13 OT
WHIZZER SAID: The Pats (+5 1/2) find a little sunshine.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Tom Brady hit Troy Brown on an 82-yard OT TD.
BUFFET-STYLE: Win ends New England’s 0-for-13 skid in Miami in September and October. Take a little baggie of sand with you.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Miami (4-2) had two chances to win the game, but Olindo Mare had a FG blocked near the end of regulation and missed another one in OT.
The Pats (5-2) now rule the AFC East.
MATCHUP: Philadelphia 14 at N.Y. Giants 10
WHIZZER SAID: Eagles (+2 1/2). How did I know? Mom was a psychic.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Brian Westbrook’s 84-yard punt return for TD with 1:16 left did it.
BUFFET-STYLE: Until the return, the Giants were stuffing and mounting the Eagles (3-3), who had 134 total yards.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: All the Giants (2-4) needed to do to ice the game was punt and protect. The Giants did neither. Remember the 2002 playoffs? Remember Miami? Remember the Monday night against Dallas? The Giants special teams were immediately placed in the federal witness protection agency.
MATCHUP: at Cincinnati 34 Baltimore 26
WHIZZER SAID: Bengals (+2). You laughed. Who’s laughing now?
DRIVE-THROUGH: This game saw a 24-point swing for the Bengals, who like to swing.
BUFFET-STYLE: Baltimore rookie Kyle Boller fumbled twice and threw an INT, and Cincy’s rookie head coach Marvin Lewis beat his old team.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Jon Kitna threw touchdown passes of 45 and 82 yards (thanks to a lucky bounce) as the Bengals (2-4) went up 24-7. The Ravens (3-3) got close with some meaningless scores but the onside kick–yep, that’s right–failed.
MATCHUP: at Minnesota 28 Denver 20
WHIZZER SAID: The Vikings (-3 1/2) are clicking. And it ain’t their heels.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Randy Moss caught 151 of Daunte Culpepper’s 277 passing yards. ‘Nuff said.
BUFFET-STYLE: Denver rallied from 28-7, thanks mostly to Clinton Portis (25 carries, 117 yards; 3 catches, 43 yards) who did it all.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Minnesota (6-0) won the first 5 against teams with a combined record of 8-20. But the Broncos (5-2) are a trophy win. Starting in place of the injured Jake Plummer (broken foot), Steve Beuerlein dislocated his pinkie. Third-string Danny Kanell adds more health insurance.
MATCHUP: San Diego 26 at Cleveland 20
WHIZZER SAID: You knew the Browns (-5 1/2) would let us down.
DRIVE-THROUGH: LaDainian Tomlinson (200 yards) proves that Browns’ D needs emergency plumber.
BUFFET-STYLE: Tomlinson broke off a 70-yard TD run on his first carry after halftime and picked up 143 yards in the second half.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Steve Christie kicked FGs of 44, 50, 43 and 32 yards, and the Chargers had an interception return despite coming in as the NFL’s lone winless team. No longer. Now they stink with one win.
MATCHUP: at San Francisco 24 Tampa Bay 7
WHIZZER SAID: The Bucs (-3 1/2) are not my favorite team right now.
DRIVE-THROUGH: Terrell Owens had a 75-yard catch-and- run. But sadly, no Sharpie.
BUFFET-STYLE: The Bucs had scored more than 30 points in each of the past three games. This time Brad Johnson threw 3 picks.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Jeff Garcia (253 yards) hit Owens and Tai Streets for TDs, and the 49ers (3-4) paid back the Bucs (3-3) for last season’s 31-6 beating in the playoffs. These Bucs are the defending Super Bowl champs, right?
MATCHUP: at Buffalo 24 Washington 7
WHIZZER SAID: You saw this coming. All together now:
“Bills (-3).”
DRIVE-THROUGH: Travis Henry rushed for a career-high
167 yards and 2 TDs for the Bills (4-3).
BUFFET-STYLE: Ex-Bill Bruce Smith still needs 2 sacks for the all-time record. Face facts: He needs Brett Favre’s help.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Henry gave a big boost to the NFL’s worst ranked rush offense (57.5 yards a game) with 31 carries. Patrick Ramsey (9-of-26, 115 yards) was hassled most of the game and suffered a bruised hand, and Washington (3-4) was forced to use Rob Johnson, another ex-Bill.
MATCHUP: N.Y. Jets 19 at Houston 14
WHIZZER SAID: Went native with the Texans (+3). My bad.
DRIVE-THROUGH: LaMont Jordan scored on an 8-yard TD with 1:21 left to cap comeback.
BUFFET-STYLE: Terrific kickoff return set up the Texans (2-4), who reached the 8, but Andre Johnson dropped a sure TD on 4th-and-3.
THE HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU: Jets QB Vinny Testaverde might be donning the ball cap and headset. With Chad Pennington possibly returning next week against the Eagles, the Jets (2-4) might be able to crawl back into the playoff race. Remember: They made the playoffs last year after starting 0-4.
