They laughed when they carried the Urkel lunchboxes and kept their protractors in their pocket protectors.
They laughed when they presented blueprints for the Post-it Note, the spork and the foam-rubber coozie (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text).
The Joe Science Nerds are the ones laughing now–and from their own islands while sipping very expensive cognac.
But for every Bill Gates and Thomas Edison, there’s a Troy Hurtubise, dubbed by www.techtv.com as the inventor of the all-time worst invention.
Like Bill and Tom, Troy saw a problem that needed fixing. You see, Troy likes to observe bears in their natural habitat, but sometimes bears like a little privacy.
He learned firsthand that not all bears are as fun-loving as Yogi.
Troy says he survived a bear attack in 1984. A few years later, he was watching an episode of “Robocop” (perhaps after having a few Zimas) when he found inspiration for URSUS MARK VI, a bear-proof suit made with titanium armor and bear-repellent blasters.
Like any good scientist, Troy tested his invention.
He ran over it
He shot it.
He even had three bikers outside a pool hall in North Bay, Ontario, beat the hell out of him while he was wearing the storm trooper outfit.
But when he put it up against real beasts, the black bears were so freaked out at the sight of C3PO in the woods, the creatures just ran off.
In Grizzly country, Troy had another problem. The bear-proof armor made him as mobile as the clunky robot on “Lost in Space.”
So Troy was left $36,000 in debt and the bank came calling.
Hey, now my inner nerd sees a problem here that needs fixing. What society really needs is a suit to protect against the bill collector.
