Turduckens and tofurkeys will adorn many tables this holiday season as alternatives to plain old turkey. The turducken is a Frankensteinian combination of a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. The tofurkey, often shaped in the silhouette of a real gobbler, is a meatless concoction of tofu and wheat gluten that passes muster even with those persnickety vegans. We smell a turkoff.
CATEGORY: COOKING TIME
Winner: Turducken. Good things come to those who wait.
Turducken: 12 to 13 hours
Tofurkey: 2 hours if not pre-cooked
CATEGORY: COSTS
Winner: Tofurkey, unless turducken can do your taxes too.
Turducken: 50 TO $125
Tofurkey: $7 to $40
CATEGORY: TASTE TEST
Winner: Uh, turducken.
Turducken: A trifecta of barnyard goodness.
Tofurkey: Described as “a combination of overcooked turkey and dirt.”
CATEGORY: STAR POWER
Winner: Tofurkey. It was a “Miss Match” from the start.
Turducken: “Monday Night Football’s” John Madden makes
turducken a Thanksgiving tradition.
Tofurkey: Alicia Silverstone clucked on and on about tofurkey on “Conan O’Brien.”
———-
Edited by RedEye staff (ritaredeye@tribune.com)




