Think the swashbuckling Capt. Jack Aubrey of “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World” owns the high seas? Think again. Capt. Horatio Hornblower, who stars in a new adventure on A&E
Tuesday and Wednesday, is also a worthy British seafaring hero (see review on Page 3). How do the fictional Napoleonic War adventures stack up? We signed on with both and file this report:
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WHO RATES HIGHER?
CAPTAIN’S HUNK-O-SITY
* `MASTER’: Quite manly, even in knee breeches.
`HORATIO’: A bit too stern to be truly studly.
HAPLESS MIDSHIPMAN
`MASTER’: Midshipman Hollom, who sailors believe is bad luck.
* `HORATIO’: Midshipman Hammond, who can’t seem to summon his nerve.
PESSIMISTIC QUOTE FROM CRUSTY SEA SALT
`MASTER’: Creepy old sailor who calls the French Acheron “a devil ship, I tell you — it’s leading us into a trap.”
* `HORATIO’: A “bloody frog” comes on board, and sailor Styles mutters “strangers on board ill luck doth afford.”
BIGGEST DISCOVERY
* `MASTER’: Dr. Maturin, a naturalist, discovers flightless birds in Galapagos Islands.
`HORATIO’: Hornblower discovers that Styles isn’t much of a cook.
GRUESOME SCENE
`MASTER’: Dr. Maturin performing surgery — on himself.
* `HORATIO’: Horatio proposing marriage to his whiny amour.
FLOG-O-METER
`MASTER’: A sailor is flogged for not showing proper respect to a superior.
* `HORATIO’: Hotheaded Styles is flogged for setting the ship’s kitchen on fire.
SEXY SCENE
* `MASTER’: The gaze between Aubrey and a Brazilian girl is brief but hot.
`HORATIO’: The scenes between Hornblower and his love interest are all wet.
QUOTE
* `MASTER’: To Dr. Maturin: “Name a shrub for me, something prickly and hard to eradicate.”
`HORATIO’: “We are the king’s officers, we have a duty to do and we’ve not a thought to spare for anything else.”
VILLAIN
`MASTER’: The enigmatic Acheron.
* `HORATIO’: A wily Irishman (or two).
THE VERDICT
`MASTER’: Though a masterful production, “Master” left us a little cold.
* `HORATIO’: A lively “Horatio” wins by a yardarm.
