Now is the time when you’re doing end zone dances because Anthony Wright threw another touchdown, but you’re not quite sure who Anthony Wright is.
Now is the time when you’re up half the night surfing the Web for football stats and your beleaguered better-half asks, “Shouldn’t you be looking up porn or something?”
It’s playoffs time, people.
In some leagues, the playoffs don’t start until next week, but we won’t wait for them, will we? Fools.
Much like the real-life postseason, most teams will have great players, or they wouldn’t have made it. In fantasy, the ability to stick around for another week comes down to starting those second-tier and fringe players who’ll cash in on their potential.
While Priest Holmes and Matt Hasselbeck are busy canceling each other out, a seeming afterthought such as Javon Walker can swoop in with a big day and send an opponent home in tears.
Hopefully the information below will help you tell if a guy like Walker or Wright is the right person to entrust with your fantasy fortunes.
And as far as pornographic images are concerned, if Bill Parcells in a pair of thigh-high khakis isn’t obscene, I don’t know what is.
DOING THEIR DOUBLE DUTY
These guys handle more jobs than Jillian Barberie
Is there anyone who works harder to get the job done for his team than Santana Moss? It’s not enough that he leads the team in receiving with 52 catches for 882 yards and strings together seven straight games with at least one touchdown, the spunky wideout also uses his gifts on running plays and in the return game. More touches means more chances to reap points.
Others:
Steve Smith, Justin McCareins, Domanick Davis, Brian Westbrook, Peter Warrick, Dante Hall, Bobby Engram, Moe Williams, Andre Davis.
THE BUDDY LEE CAN’T TRUST ‘EM SQUAD
Don’t you do it!
Troy Hambrick, RB, Cowboys
Hambrick can’t even be trusted with goal-line carries anymore. He has been stuffed too often in short yardage, and the Cowboys would rather use Aveion Cason on gadget and off-tackle plays, or pass to Richie Anderson. Last week, he had just three rushes for two yards and hasn’t averaged higher than 2.6 yards per carry since Nov. 2 against the Redskins.
Eric Moulds, WR, Bills
Would you believe Moulds has only seen the end zone once this season? He’s not racking up big yards, either, with just two 100-yard games. Don’t get caught up in past hype.
Others: Donald Driver, Travis Taylor, Olandis Gary, Charlie Garner, Garrison Hearst, Donte Stallworth, Plaxico Burress, Quincy Morgan, any Patriots running back. I could go on.
FLEX APPEAL
No restrictions, so it’s everyone’s favorite position
Got an extra position to play whatever third-stringer you want? That’s the time to take a flier on an up-and-coming kid such as Jaguars QB Byron Leftwich, or an all-or-nothing utility player like Redskins RB Rock Cartwright. Cartwright’s a great runner at the goal line and can carry the rock when called upon.
Others: Anquan Boldin, Javon Walker, Kelly Campbell, Moe Williams, Tyrone Wheatley, Bobby Shaw, Tyrone Calico, Billy Miller, Doug Flutie, Josh Brown.
BANK IT
Week 14 locks
1. Jeff Garcia
QB, 49ers vs. Cardinals
– Risky, true, but he was rusty. Cards are bad on the road.
2. Shaun Alexander
RB, Seahawks at Vikings
3. Ahman Green
RB, Packers vs. Bears
4. Travis Henry
RB, Bills vs. Jets
5. David Akers
K, Eagles vs. Cowboys
BUSTED
Week 14 duds
1. Tommy Maddox
QB, Steelers at Lions
2. Michael Pittman
RB, Bucs at Saints
3. Andre Johnson
WR, Texans at Jaguars
– Too risky with Johnson’s spotty play and QBs hurting.
4. Johnnie Morton
WR, Chiefs at Broncos
5. Justin Gage
WR, Bears at Packers
BUZZ
Week 14 sleepers
1. Michael Vick
QB, Falcons vs. Panthers
2. Tiki Barber
RB, Giants vs. Redskins
3. David Boston
WR, Chargers at Lions
4. Laveranues Coles
WR, Redskins at Giants
5. Randy McMichael
TE, Dolphins at Patriots
– Serious bad blood between him and Rodney Harrison, whom he torched last time.
Big hits
Injuries that could alter your lineup
Drew Bledsoe QB, Bills
Probable, but sat out of practice with dizziness.
Dallas Clark TE, Colts
Likely out for the season with broken leg.
Tim Couch QB, Browns
Questionable with sprained knee.
Hines Ward WR, Steelers
Probable with glute contusion.
Garrison Hearst RB, 49ers
Doubtful with sprained knee.
Domanick Davis RB, Texans
Questionable with sore ankle and thigh, but expects to play.
———-
plthompson@tribune.com.
