Ah, Christmas music. To some, it brightens the room when it comes on. To others, the mere mention of it turns them into the vicious killer zombies from “28 Days Later.”
To make your holiday as rage-free as possible, RedEye sampled some new Christmas releases–and one throwback–to help you separate the eggnog from the fruitcake.
Los Straitjackets,
” ‘Tis The Season For … “
Nashville’s finest Mexican wrestling, mask-wearing, instrumental surf rock band turns in a gem of an album with
” ‘Tis The Season.” They may seem like the last band that should make a Christmas album, but it works surprisingly well–even giving the worn out “Feliz Navidad” a nice workout by throwing in a little “La Bamba” for good measure. Muy bueno.
Brian Setzer Orchestra,
“Boogie Woogie Christmas”
Mr. Stray Cat’s delve into Christmasdom is a lot like watching Sammy Sosa: When he connects, it’s usually out of the park. But when he misses, he misses by a country mile. The rockin’ “Winter Wonderland” is lots of fun, as is his original “So They Say It’s Christmas.” His seven-minute swing version of “The Nutcracker Suite,” however, is a train wreck. Fans of his “Jump Jive an’ Wail” material should enjoy this, but it’s far from perfect.
Various Artists,
“Maybe This Christmas Too”
Not as good as the first “Maybe This Christmas” album from last year–Avril Lavigne’s take on “O Holy Night” is dreadful–but it has some keepers, such as Guster’s “Donde Esta Santa Claus?” and Rufus Wainwright’s hilarious “Spotlight On Christmas,” an ode to the rich children whose broken toys will never be fixed since Mommy and Daddy will simply buy them new ones. Flaming Lips get bonus points for the weirdest version of “White Christmas” ever recorded.
Various Artists,
“Christmas Remixed: Holiday Classics Re-Grooved”
This might be the best of this year’s batch and is a must-have for hipster music snobs. Classics from Andy Williams, Bing Crosby and even Mel Torme get the remix treatment from people like Dan the Automator, but the songs are handled with a surprising touch of reverence. Standout tracks include Kay Starr’s jazzy “I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm” and Louis Armstrong and Velma Middleton’s duet on “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”
Harry Connick Jr.,
“Harry For The Holidays”
As long as he keeps things humming, Connick’s second Christmas album is quite good, showing his tremendous growth as arranger and conductor. But when he gets cute, like on the ridiculous “The Happy Elf,” he comes across as the Barry Manilow of his generation. Stick with the traditional, Harry. You’re six feet tall and no more an elf than Will Ferrell.
Various Artists,
“Christmas Calling”
Oh, did this have potential. Travis covers Joni Mitchell, while Tenacious D teams up with Sum 41, but very little works. The D/Sum duet has some funny lines, but the vintage 80s metal music track kills it. Fuel absolutely butchers “We Three Kings,” while Phantom Planet’s dreary “Carol of the Bells” has neither vocals nor bells. Saving grace comes in the form of the Thorns’ “Silent Night,” Macy Gray’s delicious “What I Want For Christmas” and Keb’ Mo’s “We Call It Christmas.”
Mediaeval Baebes,
“Mistletoe and Wine: A Seasonal Collection Glorious”
This collection of medieval songs, performed mostly a cappella, will make a perfect stocking stuffer for diehard “Lord of the Rings” fans. The Baebes’ decision to sing in Middle English, French, Italian and Latin only adds to the aura of Middle Earth that hovers throughout this most unique album.
Cyndi Lauper,
“Merry Christmas … Have A Nice Life!”
For you “I Love The ’80s” fans, this 1998 album from Miss Unusual is better than you might think. Her originals, “Home On Christmas Day” and “Christmas Conga,” hold their own with the traditionals. Her take on “Silent Night” is as sweet as they come. Most of this album was rereleased a couple years later as a mid-priced special, but this is the one to get.
Various Artists,
“American Idol: The Great Holiday Classics”
The sequencing alone speaks volumes: Runner-up Clay Aiken leads off with “The First Noel” while winner Ruben Studdard duets with Tamyra Gray on track two but doesn’t get a proper solo until Track 10, with the laughably white-bread “This Christmas.” The other winner, Kelly Clarkson, is relegated to the last two tracks. At least the album’s producers were thoughtful enough to make Justin Guarini’s “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” the shortest track on the album. In the end: marginal talent, zero discipline.
Ashanti,
“Ashanti’s Christmas”
Shameless. The textbook definition of contractual obligation, this barely 30-minute Christmas collection will likely stand as The Inc.’s last-ditch effort to cash in on their golden diva goose. The tracks sound like they were made on someone’s PC during an all-nighter, and the vocals are wafer thin. Steer clear of this one.
