Ah, the magic of Marshall Field’s on State Street in the weeks before Christmas. My wife’s face transforms into Tiny Tim’s when she thinks about it (I swear I’ve heard her cry “God bless us, every one!” to the tree). I, on the other hand, am reminded of the United Airlines terminal at 5 p.m. on a rainy Friday, with Uncle Mistletoe hiding in the rafters. If you have similar fears of State Street–or Michigan Avenue, or any shopping mall–in the countdown to Christmas, I have a suggestion for you.
Get you to the Fraternal Order of Police gift shop. First skip lunch under the tree (any tree) or waiting in line at the Berghoff behind 6,000 people from Iowa with their shopping bags. Go to the Palace Grill on West Madison Street, across from the Police Department’s 911 Center building. Have the hot–cut from the bone–ham sandwich on rye. Then walk one block north and west to 1412 W. Washington St. and enter the FOP building. The shop is to your left off the lobby.
Started as a non-profit fund-raiser for the union by a couple of Chicago policemen–Rich Wagner and Ted Macudzinski– who carried all of the merchandise to meetings, the store opened in 1996. It’s open to the public, except nobody but FOP members knows it’s there. Until now. I recommend it for many, if not all, of your holiday shopping needs.
Surely there’s someone in your life who needs a Chicago Police Department Homicide Unit T-shirt with the legend “Our Day Starts When Yours Ends.” And nothing says Noel like the Bomb Squad shirt that advises: “If you see me running, try and keep up.” Tuck those shirts into one of those wide leather police belts, sizes well into the 50s, for $15.
Seven to 12 bucks will buy a variety of ornaments for the tree–including a nice Chicago policeman, a hat or a Frosty the Snowman in uniform. Toys for the kids are all over the place: police cars, helicopters, motorcycles. Cuddly dolls with a gun and a badge.
For the administrator in your life, there’s a shirt that says “There’s no reason for it, it’s just Department policy.” For Mom, a nice pair of NYPD oven mitts. (The shop does a little interdepartmental trading.) For the new baby, the “This is my first Chicago Police T-shirt” is cute. Toddlers will like the full range of Disney character clothes–they’re in police uniform, but the folks at the Magic Kingdom require that they be unarmed.
For those hard-to-please teens, I like the controlled-substance line of T’s: “You have the drink . . . We’ll provide the chaser,” or “You huff & puff–and we’ll blow your house down.” For the pooch, there’s a nice dinner bowl complete with flashing lights, and for your brother-in-law I’d go with the “Goon Squad” shirt.
Pick up the $15 “I Brake for Doughnuts” cookie jar for Dad, and for that new retiree, a nice shirt with the legend “The older I get, the tougher it was.”
Replicas of the metal coffee cups used in cop lock-ups are a big seller, but, sadly, I couldn’t find my favorite shirt from last year: “You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?” You could ask about it–maybe they were just out of stock.
Among the cutest things on sale is a small, light-blue bear in a CPD uniform that’s selling very well at $14.95–they say it’s because he happens to look rather like a Chicago Cub, if you traded the bat for a baton. This and some of the other merchandise comes from Tony Jackowski, another retired cop with a store–Z-J Sales: Police Collectibles–on Central Avenue just north of Milwaukee Avenue on the Northwest Side.
If you don’t find what you want at the FOP shop, try Tony (or his Web site–copcollectibles.com). Fewer T-shirts, but more collectible stuff, including an 1880 Chicago PD badge for $1,200, a 1968 riot helmet (ah, the good old days) for $85, a selection of used Chicago Police leather jackets for $150 a copy–big sellers for Blues Brothers wannabees–and endless patches, hats and licensed police car replicas from various local departments. One of his T-shirts is, I think, destined to become a classic: From the 17th District lock-up, it reads, “Chicago Police Bed & Breakfast. Memorable Lodging. Charming Amenities. Gracious Hospitality.”
Back downtown, when you’re finished shopping at the FOP, head upstairs to the second floor, where Atlas Uniforms will sell you the shoes, jackets and pants your local flatfoot and mail carrier wear. I particularly like the heavy, fully-lined navy blue sweaters, perfect for walking your personal beat in a Chicago winter–or for waiting outside on State Street while your beloved is shopping at Field’s.
