Judging just how poorly the Bulls, Blackhawks and Bears have performed during this time of year is totally unfair. How can you leave Ken Williams out the equation?
2 Can you digit?
What’s wrong with the Bears aiming to reach 8-8? Any batter would kill to finish .500.
3 Coors for his cold
He’s the unfortunate man
in the grandstand.
But the Cubs he haunted,
and now he’s wanted,
For merely sticking out his hand.
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Now there’s never enough
demand for his stuff,
Mighty Bartman,
Cards and T-shirts on the ‘Net,
so log on and buy the set.
Bartmaaaa-aaaa-aan!
4 Religious experience
The Bulls lose by 12 to Utah, arguably the worst team in the West. Their fans are Mormon, but we’re mournin’.
5 Snooze control
The Eagles aren’t making a big production after punishing Correll Buckhalter for oversleeping, but they should think about investing in a cause-for-alarm clock.
Sixthman
6 Language barrier
Blackhawks are hinting that rookie Igor Radulov has been slacking, or in terms he can understand, slackinov.
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Edited by the Sports staff of RedEye.
