Some of the trendiest hangover cures these days strike us as a bit, well, silly. Pedialyte? Sure, we may have acted really immature last night, but drinking a toddler’s nutritional beverage to get back on track is going a bit far. And Red Bull? Thanks, but mixing the sugary stuff with vodka is what got us here in the first place.
So what’s an overzealous holiday partier to do come morning, when the sun is shining a little too brightly and the bathroom floor looks like a reasonable place to spend the rest of the day?
While water (and lots of it) may truly be the only cure for a hangover, what fun is that? Pick your sorry self up and check out one of the following spots, where hangover cures both obvious (grease!) and not so (Bloody Marys?) fill the menu. It’s OK, you can do it–really (group hug!).
Carton’s
Even if you’ve never been here, you probably know a place just like it: There’s a rotating dessert case featuring pies and cakes that may have been there since the Reagan administration; lots of extra-cushy pleather booths filled with regulars; and a menu that includes just about everything, from omelets and burgers to steaks and chops. Hangover cures abound, from the turkey dinner (with gravy and mashed potatoes, the ultimate comfort food) to a standard BLT club. Plus, the place keeps late hours (they’re open until midnight), meaning you can try a little hangover prevention if you’re so inclined. 21 E. Chestnut St. 312-664-5512.
Billy Goat Tavern
OK, so the basement location is a little too close to the gutter you woke up in, but that just means this surefire hangover-helper haven is easier to get to! Many revelers we know swear that the combination of extra-greasy cheezborger and sugary Coke (not Pepsi! not Diet Coke!) do wonders for even the worst hangover. And because of its downtown location, the writers’ watering hole is especially good for those workweek hangovers that seem to happen so often during the holiday season. Stop here for lunch, and your boss will never know how many shots you did last night. Oh, wait, he was there? And you hit on his wife? Sorry, you’re on your own. 430 N. Michigan Ave. 312-222-1525.
Stanley’s Kitchen and Tap
You know what they say, sometimes the best cure for a hangover is a little hair of the dog that bit you. So consider Stanley’s do-it-yourself Bloody Mary bar, available on weekends alongside the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet. Plop yourself down in front of one of the TVs and watch the game, then load your Mary with all the extra-zesty garnishes you can handle, from olives, pickles and celery to a variety of hot sauces, all of which are reputed hangover helpers. Of course, if you’re really in bad shape, the vodka is optional. 1970 N. Lincoln Ave. 312-642-0007.
The Original Pancake House
This cherished breakfast place has nine locations in the city and suburbs, so it’s likely there’s one near you. Our favorite is the quaint, Near North Side location. You may have to wait a little to get in (hey, all that standing is good for the circulation), but once you do, it’s worth it — your coffee cup is never empty, and the famous apple pancake sits like a sugary brick in your fragile tummy. We actually mean that in a good way. 22 E. Bellevue Place, 312-642-7917.
Furama
Something about dim sum seems to soothe a hangover. Maybe because it shows up the minute you sit down, and there’s plenty of sodium involved. With locations in Uptown (4936 N. Broadway, 773-271-1161) and Chinatown (2828 S. Wentworth Ave. 312-225-6888), this gigantic dim sum palace handles crowds quickly. Just try not to over-indulge (again). Dim sum daily.
