In an era of drive-through weddings and online divorces, second marriages have become the new first marriage.
Once upon a fairy-tale time, matrimony began with a “starter” house, a fixer-upper that served as a bridge to a “real” house. Welcome to the new world of starter marriages, in which “until death us do part” turns out to be a matter of months (J.Lo) or even hours (Britney).
Defined as a childless marriage lasting fewer than five years, the phrase “starter marriage” entered the mainstream in 2002 with Pamela Paul’s book, “The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.” Paul spoke of the unrealistic expectations today’s couples have of marriage to fulfill their every need and of the difficulty in forging an identity as a couple when you haven’t yet come into your own as an individual.
Sarah Touberg, co-author of “Not Your Mother’s Divorce,” calls it “Gen X divorce.”
Although Spears’ latest Las Vegas whirlwind wedding stunt may not technically qualify for starter marriage status–due to its lightning speed and its end in an annulment–it could be symptomatic of marriage trends among twenty- and thirtysomethings.
In their book, Touberg and Kay Moffett outline eight reasons why modern-day unions sometimes devolve into starter marriages. A main culprit, Touberg said, is getting married too young and outgrowing each other.
Touberg also described starter marriages as being symptomatic of a nuptially obsessed country. “[From] the annual televised wedding on the ‘Today Show’ to Trista and ‘The Bachelor,’ ” she said, “even though we’re in a ‘post-feminist’ age, there’s still this interesting persistence in the perfect wedding.”
