Well, they certainly cleaned the place up,” a companion sighed as we entered what used to be Tuman’s Alcohol Abuse Center, a Ukrainian Village dive where the Guinness was cheap and the urinal was an endurance test. Closed last year and sold to Tom Magee (owner of Mac’s and J.T. Collins), who restored and updated it, Tuman’s is now a shiny, airy tavern with trendy food, a no-smoking section and babes on cell phones.
Before you cry “Yuppiefication!” know that not only is the beer still cheap, but also that what you see at the “new” Tuman’s actually dates back to the 1890s. It was just waiting–like some discovery on “Antiques Roadshow”–for someone to unearth its handsomeness.
“People were really concerned I was going to screw up the joint,” says Magee, who started coming to Tuman’s 10 years ago. “We just tried to rehab the place and make sure it’ll live another 100 years.”
Once Inside: Swinging saloon doors lead to a long room with a high glass ceiling, cleaned of its former smoky brown patina, and original stamped-tin walls. Gone are the kegs-for-seats, pool table and portrait of Bela Lugosi. The old tiger oak and mahogany bar gleams with detailing and is lined with bottles of fine booze; tables and chairs occupy the rest of the space. Farther back, past vintage wallpaper, you’ll find spotless bathrooms and a “no-smoking” back room (once an apartment). The room is nicotine-free in name only, with a cigarette machine, ashtrays on the tables and, on Saturday night, plenty of smokers.
Drinks: Fifteen taps flow with nostalgically priced drafts such as Bell’s, Goose Island and Guinness ($3), and two hand-pulled ales ($5) offer that tepid, English flavor. For die-hards, Pabst on tap is $2, and cans of Old Style are $1.75. Cocktails start at $3.50.
Sound: The former bar’s much-loved jukebox–which had tracks from Johnny Cash, Slayer, Miles Davis and Pussy Galore–is gone, but a play list is being compiled from regulars’ recommendations.
Eats: Gone are the itinerant Brownie Lady and Tamale Guy. A full kitchen now cranks out buffalo burgers, artichoke fritters, duck tenders and smoked-gouda pizza. Appetizers and sandwiches run around $7-$8; entrees $10-$15. Food is served until midnight.
Crowd: Clean-cut yuppies and good-looking neighborhood types. On our left, a pretty Merc worker sipped an amaretto sour and mused about having majored in photography; on our right, a guy with pierced ears drinking an Old Style explained why he finally got out of bike messengering.
Bottom line: If the price of some historic preservation is cleaner johns and a $3 Guinness, we’re at peace with that.
