The short, white woman with the shaggy blond hair and the sparkling eyes of a pixie stood before the audience holding aloft the book from which she was about to recite.
“Secrets of a Sparrow.” Pause. “By Diana Ross.”
The speaker, Marylouise Burke, a hair taller than the music stand in front of her, then proceeded to transform herself into the statuesque Ross, re-creating the singer’s unsuccessful attempt at crowd control at her soggy Central Park concert in 1983.
“My tears mixed with rain and fell to earth,” Burke whispered. The crowd roared.
Sensitive stars would be wise to steer clear of “Cause Celeb!,” a weekly series of readings on Mondays at a downtown performance space called Fez.
There, before mostly young audiences, show business meets schadenfreude, as actors recite embarrassing, touching, salacious or jaw-droppingly clueless passages excerpted from celebrity autobiographies.
From the A-list down, no one is safe.
“Many of these books are simply insane,” said Nancy Balbirer, who created the show with a fellow actress, Charlotte Booker. “They’re like Greek myths, but these gods are really human.”
An upcoming show will be devoted to tales about Burt Reynolds as recounted by Loni Anderson, Tammy Wynette, Mamie Van Doren and others in their memoirs and autobiographies.
On opening night, Jan. 5, the theme was “Viva las Divas.”
The readings recounted the backstage hysterics, drug habits and sexual peccadilloes revealed in the sweaty prose of some of Hollywood’s most high-profile prima donnas.
“Cause Celeb!” was created by Balbirer, who is in her mid-30s, and Booker, who is slightly older, in Los Angeles seven years ago.
The two were working in television at the time; moving East to further their acting careers in New York, the two women took “Cause Celeb!” with them.
Future readings are to be devoted to the themes of gender identity and celebrity trials, as well as to the careers of Joan Crawford and, in a night called “Marilyn/Manson,” both Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson.
The readers are careful to refrain from impersonation. And no campy theatrics are necessary, Balbirer said; a straight reading from the texts — written in all seriousness — supplies all the humor that’s needed, she said.
