The only thing good about the Golden Globes is that they get to the point faster than the Academy Awards. Now, if they could just figure out how to seat the winners closer to the stage and seat Jack Nicholson in a different hotel …
And I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any comments on the pre-show. Why? Because if I want to watch animals putting their noses up the ends of other animals, I can go to the dog park. With that in mind, here are the Cranky awards:
Best Reminder that Substance Abuse is Never Far From Anyone’s Mind: Consecutive award winners Tim Robbins and Anthony LaPaglia both commenting that the early win allowed them to imbibe freely.
Most Annoying Habit: The way in which all the Best Picture nominees were introduced by either spouses of the stars, people actually in the movie or others with somewhat tangential connections. This all culminates with Sarah Ferguson’s introduction for “Love Actually,” where we discover that she can’t read very well.
Worst Dressed: Nicole Kidman (who almost fell out of her dress while presenting the Best Actor award) or Gwen Stefani (who looked like the Bride of Frankenstein crossed with Alien).
Most in Need of Hair Care: Ashton Kutcher/Jack Black (tie).
Worst Acceptance Speech: Diane Keaton (not only does she read from a piece of paper like she’s in high school speech class, but a nice “s-word” gets tossed in accidentally).
Worst idea: Having Nicole Kidman present the Best Actor award in which Tom Cruise could have won.
Most Overrated Movie: “Lost in Translation.” Too many awards for a simplistic film that has little actual story and allows Bill Murray to ham it up like he usually does.
