African-American weddings sweep tradition into the ceremony with a broom. Jewish wedding guests might raise their glass, plus some chairs. Greek weddings are sweetened with almonds. Bring a dollar to dance with the bride at a traditional Italian reception.
“No guest should feel nervous about attending a wedding that features traditions that they are not familiar with,” says Linda Alpert, owner of event planning company Affairs with Linda. “The invitation should tell you what to wear, what to bring and what to expect.”
In fact, according to many local wedding experts and organizers, witnessing multicultural matrimony can enrich your imagination for your own eventual journey down the aisle.
For example, in an African-American wedding, the couple might perform libations (a prayer) and jump the broom.
“For libations, a couple brings a plant to the altar,” explains Ollie Moran, senior wedding coordinator for Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago’s South Side. “The minister explains that the plant represents three generations: those who have passed on, those who are here now and those who are to be born. The bride and groom say the names of those who have passed on and all the guests respond, ‘libation.’ “
Broom jumping is a tribute to slave tradition.
“During slavery, African-Americans were not considered humans and not permitted to marry, so slaves began the tradition of ‘jumping the broom.’ This symbolizes sweeping away the past and making a new start by leaping into the land of matrimony,” Moran says.
Many couples combine modern matrimonial elements with old-world traditions in their ceremonies, Alpert says.
“In a contemporary Jewish wedding, the couple won’t necessarily incorporate the older traditions, such as seating men on one side and women on the other for the ceremony and reception, but many couples want to dance the horah,” she says. “The bridesmaids lift the bride up, and the groomsmen lift the groom up on chairs, while the couple holds on to either side of a napkin.”
Korean ceremonies can differ, based on whether the couple opts for a Christian or Buddhist wedding.
“I put on a Korean Buddhist wedding at the MidAmerica Club,” Alpert says. “The bride and groom chanted together for about 20 minutes, and the ceremony was over.”
Greek tradition calls for sweets and shattered glass.
“Breaking dishes is considered good luck in Greek tradition,” explains Paula Ramsey, co-founder of weddingquestions.com. “It means, may you have as many years with your husband as it takes to put a shattered plate back together.”
Greek weddings also might feature bombonieres, or a bag of Jordan almonds.
“There is an odd number of almonds, which are indivisible, just as marriages should remain undivided,” Alpert says. “The bitter taste of the almond represents life itself. The sweet coating represents the fact that life should be more sweet than bitter.”
Italian traditions also are sweet.
For Italian weddings, sweets and sweet tables are a point of focus, but gift giving can be unique.
“With Italian weddings, and even Greek, guests are traditionally more into giving money,” Alpert says. “There is usually a box, or a birdcage, where you can stick envelopes of money.”
But Becca Kauman, co-founder of weddingquestions.com, is skeptical of that tradition.
“You should see whether the couple is registered and plan accordingly,” she says. “I think that tradition might be on its last legs.”
Kaufman says the “dollar dance” is popular with Italian, Greek and Polish wedding guests. A bride will dance with each guest during the reception after a dollar is pinned to an apron, her dress or even a special purse designed for the ceremony.
No matter the ceremony, all the wedding experts agree that it’s best to pour yourself wholeheartedly into the celebration.
“There is not really a mistake you can make as a wedding guest,” Kaufman says. “After all, you are sharing a couple’s special day. They wouldn’t invite you to alienate you.
“The most important thing is to have fun and share in the joining of two people that you love.”
