You’ve read stories about her. Perhaps you know someone who has had a personal encounter. And of course, there are those whose exploits have been caught on camera.
A seemingly sweet, practical woman, once betrothed, transforms into a neurotic, raving lunatic–and becomes what many have come to call a bridezilla.
Though the tales of bridezilla behavior are an overstatement in most cases, a trip to the altar can cause even the most mild-mannered brides-to-be to behave erratically.
“It’s a lot of pressure,” says Li Robbins, author of “Going Bridal: How to Get Married Without Losing Your Mind.” “You get pressure from all these people and responsibilities that you don’t usually have. All of it gets put on the bride, and it happens all at once.”
Robbins, whose humor-filled book discusses the emotional overload of getting married, learned from personal experience when she set out two years ago to plan her big day–and found herself, as she calls it, “going bridal.”
In researching her book, Robbins found that she was not alone in her bridal angst.
Here are key points to keep in mind when tying the knot, say Robbins and Debi Lilly, owner of Chicago-based event planner A Perfect Event (www.aperfect event.com).
– The dress: There is no such thing as The Perfect Dress–just as there is no such thing as The Perfect Man. Narrow it down to a dress you feel comfortable in, a dress that feels like you, as opposed to some vision you’re clinging to.
– The groom: You and your betrothed may have totally different notions of what’s important. Respect those differences and communicate.
– The budget: Have one. Try and stick to it, within, say $500. (And try not to let anyone persuade you to spend more money on your wedding than you have–there is no law that says weddings have to be expensive.)
– The reception: Flexibility is key. Keep in mind that your first pick may be unavailable or out of your budget and plan accordingly.
– The family: Share the load. Involving family members will make people feel like they are part of the process and take some of the pressure off you. And remember: patience, patience, patience. This is an exciting time for everyone.
– The bridesmaids: Don’t forget to treat them as you would like to be treated–with respect.
– Parting thought: “Roll with the punches,” says Lilly, whose company has a hand in planning 50 to 100 weddings a year. “It’s easy to lose perspective because it’s so much money and everyone is going to be there and it’s such a big event. Try to remember to enjoy the experience.”
Robbins recommends a good dose of laughter to keep things light: “A lot of [what happens] is funny. Approaching everything with a sense of humor makes it not such a big deal and makes you realize how zany weddings can be.”
And when you find yourself getting worked up, Robbins suggests this: Ask yourself, “What really matters? Is this wedding about me or is it about love?”
A little corny, but true.
