Time for a certain sports magazine’s bathing suit issue. Time for the No. 1 overrated thing in sports.
Look, Playboy did it before Sports Illustrated, Playboy did it better, Playboy still does. Same goes for Maxim, by the way.
But as long as we’re on the subject, here’s the rest of the Top 10 Most Overrrated Things in Sports:
– Olympic Dream Teams. Who really wants to see a bunch of top NBA players treat Ulan Bator like they’re the Bulls?
– House subcommittees on Super Bowl halftime shows. This is exactly the issue we want our elected officials to deal with in what some believe is the fattest, brokest country in the world.
– Notre Dame football. It’s a basketball school.
– Big Ten basketball. It’s a football conference.
– Phil Mickelson. Plays majors as if his caddie is Steve Bartman.
– “Bears tradition.” Hey gang, so-called Bears tradition died the same day that so-called “Bears weather” did–when it was minus-30 and the supposed brie-and-chardonnay 49ers came here and slapped a 26-3 playoff whupping on Mike Ditka’s supposed Grabowskis.
– Name-brand sneakers. Two-hundred bucks for gym shoes? Not even if LeBron and Michael hand-delivered them.
– Brian Urlacher. What part of “turnover” don’t you understand?
– Soccer. Well, it would be overrated if people here cared. If anybody at all cared.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
– Chris Berman. ESPN keeps giving him hosting opportunities. Stop this.
– Money. If it mattered, Billfold Wirtz would spend some.
– Ken Griffey Jr. Get tough or get out.
– Chris Webber. Hit a big shot in the playoffs, why don’t you?
– Slam Dunk contests. So last decade.
JITIM YOUNG: Your table is ready.
DELONTE HOLLAND: You too.
STEVE-MAIL: From Bobby Harrigan: “After reviewing the game film, [Brian] Urlacher was credited with 14 tackles in the Rush’s game on Sunday.”
From Glenn Koser: “I’ve wondered where the Bulls would be if they hadn’t traded Artest, Miller and Brand. Not chillin’ in the almost basement I’ll bet.”
No, but on the upside, that was the deal that ultimately got Jerry Krause run out.
EVERYTHING MUST GO: A check of our chicagosports.com Web site revealed a clearance sale on Sox stuff, from T-shirts to sports beads to the Sox’s competitive chances.
D’OH: Some guy released a study that claimed NHL owners were losing $273 million. The guy performing the study was hired by NHL owners. Imagine that.
LET IT BE: Monday marked the 40th anniversary of the Beatles’ appearance on the “Ed Sullivan Show,” which means the biggest group in music history came to the United States, had one member declare they were “bigger than Jesus Christ” and had half the group die in less time than it has taken the Hawks to win a Cup.
YAO MING: Got a McDonald’s endorsement deal.
EDDY CURRY: Got a Big Mac.
BUT: He really needs a couple McNuggets.
BARE FACTS: Colorado football players hired strippers during recruiting trips. Coach Gary Barnett, a known liar, said he knew nothing about what was going on in his program. Man, everywhere you look around college and pro football, it’s just a bunch of exposed boobs.
THE END: Former boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, wondering why he can’t hawk kitchen appliances like George Foreman: “It befuddles me. I will take a grill. I will take a toaster. Give me something.”
AND ANOTHER THING: Grill huckster and former heavyweight champ George Foreman said he’s training for a one-fight comeback. Former heavyweight punching bag Scott LeDoux wants to be the opponent. Foreman is 55. So is LeDoux. “In this corner, wearing the blue Depends …”
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srosenbloom@tribune.com
Want more Rosenbloom? Read him every
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