(1) Just like your pitching
We know you’re touchy about the subject, Greg Maddux, so we won’t talk about Arizona’s heat while you’re in camp. Let’s just refer to it as “precision temperatures.”
(2) Plus she’s Dennis’ favorite species
Dennis Rodman won $222,000 on “Celebrity Mole Yucatan” by picking model Angie Everhart as the mole. A mole also is a creature that lives underground, so are you surprised “The Worm” smoked her out?
(3) Zhamnov, Sullivan, etc.
We know Hawks GM Bob Pulford supposedly is setting up the Hawks’ future, and not just ditching salaries, by trading stars. But every time they say, “He traded . . . ” we hear “betrayal.”
(4) Big deal
Bears coach Lovie Smith will tolerate no “fat” players in camp. Maybe Keith Traylor can fool him by wearing two jerseys at once.
(5) The Court of Appeals is on the clock …
Maurice Clarett plans on skipping the NFL scouting combine. He’s hoping a judge will award his draft pick.
Sixthman
(6) Watch yourself
Spong monkeys
They pitch for Quiznos, not Pocahontas; but what they need is an orthodontist.
RODMAN
He pitches for EnjoyRx, not impotence; But what helps women is his absence.
