It wasn’t a pair of Manolo Blahniks.
It wasn’t the “Carrie” necklace, the pinned-on flower or even the Fendi baguette purse.
No, the ultimate “Sex and the City” accessory was a boyfriend.
Not just any boyfriend. Though she sometimes settled for less than the best, Carrie Bradshaw was almost as picky about her men as she was about her haute couture.
There was the hunky Aidan, the mischievous Mr. Big, the bashful Berger. Each one seemed perfect in his own way, a true “designer original.”
But none of those relationships worked out — or did they? The HBO series’ Sunday finale should reveal whether Carrie chooses Big or Russian artist Aleksandr Petrovsky. Or maybe she’ll walk off into the sunset solo.
But indulge us as we while away the hours before “Sex’s” final sendoff by playing Dr. Frankenstein with the men in Carrie’s life — taking bits of each one in an attempt to construct the perfect boyfriend.
1. Mr. Big (Chris Noth)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Besides having megabucks and his own chauffeur (now those are some killer accessories), Big had the ultimate relationship lifesaver — a sense of humor. And as Big said in Season One, “There are so many . . . gorgeous women out there in this city, but the thing is this — after awhile you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.” Awwww.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: It’s easier to find WMDs in Iraq than to get this guy to commit to a relationship.
2. Aidan Shaw (John Corbett)
What made him a good boyfriend material: This studly furniture maker/bar owner was sensitive, caring and tender.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Sometimes sensitive and caring can verge on sappy and cloying. Besides, every relationship needs that certain zsa zsa zsu, but the Aidan-Carrie thing never truly had it.
3. Jack Berger (Ron Livingston)
What made him a good boyfriend material: If only every boyfriend could be this adorable — not to mention smart, literate and self-deprecatingly funny — the dating world would be a lovely place.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Poor Berger’s downfall was that he was a writer, which made him neurotic, insecure and occasionally petty. Carrie was right about the hair scrunchy, Jack, just deal with it.
4. Jeremy (David Duchovny)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Carrie’s former high school flame was sensitive, romantic, financially stable and smart. As relationship material goes, he was perfect. Well, almost perfect.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Those long months of confinement in mental institution can make even casual dating difficult.
5. Ray King (Craig Bierko)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Talk about fun! Being with this jazz club owner was an exercise in non-stop improvised fun, a sort of bebop bash that never ended.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Nobody wants to party 24 hours a day, and this guy didn’t have an off switch.
6. Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Never discount the effectiveness of a sexy foreign accent. And even non-foreigners should note that fine wine, fancy dinners and diamond necklaces rarely go amiss.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Nobody wants to feel like their significant other is correcting them — or judging them. If Aleksander thought that Carrie’s interests or even her friends were superficial, he should have kept his Russian yap shut — or better yet, steered clear of our girl.
7. Stanford Blatch (Willie Garson)
What made him a good boyfriend material: He was always available for a good gossip session over lunch, dinner or drinks, and he had a fabulous sense of style.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Well, he was gay. But he still gets to be an honorary boyfriend, because he was always there for Carrie.
8. Bill Kelley (John Slattery)
What made him a good boyfriend material: This rising politician had charisma and smarts to spare, always good qualities for date bait.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: His odd, bathroom-related sexual request would put most women off, even the adventurous Carrie.
9. Sam the college student (Timothy Olyphant)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Youthful energy and ravishing good looks.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: Living as a college-age slob is so 15 years ago, for a mid-30s woman like Carrie, anyway.
10. Sean, the bisexual guy (Donovan Leitch)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Youthful energy and ravishing good looks.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: He was bisexual, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it proved too confusing when he took Carrie to an ultra-swinging spin-the-bottle party.
11. Wade Adams, comic-book shop guy (Cane Peterson)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Youthful energy and, surprisingly, ravishing good looks.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: That whole living-at-home-with-Mom thing is kind of a turn-off.
12. Keith Travers, L.A. guy (Vince Vaughn)
What made him a good boyfriend material: This Hollywood player was suave, sophisticated and connected, and he had a killer bachelor pad.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: He was “connected” in the sense that he was Carrie Fisher’s house-sitting assistant.
14. Vaughn (Justin Theroux)
What made him a good boyfriend material: Those sexy good looks, that literary mind.
What made him not such good boyfriend material: That cloying, annoying family of his.
The Best and Worst of the Rest
Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte had their share of weird and wonderful boyfriends too. Here are just a few of the highlights and lowlights of their checkered romantic histories:
The Ick
Skipper Johnston: Miranda’s Season 1 boyfriend was devoted to the point of being a stalker (and a whiny stalker at that).
Marathon Man: The weirdest sexual request ever seen on the show had to come from this Season Four beau of Miranda’s. It’s so weird we’re not going to mention it here.
Richard Wright: Even for a Manhattanite, this hotelier’s raging ego was out of control.
Trey McDougall: No grown man should ever take a bath in the presence of his mother. We’re just sayin’.
The fireman, the overnight-delivery guy, the stockbroker, the assistant: Samantha’s list of cookie-cutter conquests sometimes looked like a list of professions lifted from a job-aptitude test.
The Not-Ick
Harry Goldenblatt: He started out as someone Charlotte only wanted to have sex with, but she realized he had a lot more going for him.
TiVo: This recording device can’t take the place of guy –but it did record Miranda’s much-loved fictional BBC America series “Jules & Mimi,” so respect must be given to this stalwart man stand-in.
Robert Leeds: This debonair Knicks physician was just what the doctor ordered, until Miranda decided that sweet Steve Brady was The One.
Smith Jerrod: Samantha’s waiter-model-actor boyfriend wasn’t just another dumb blond, surprisingly.
Anthony Marentino: OK, Charlotte’s wedding-planner pal was also gay, but he had some of the best quips in the entire series, so he also gets honorary boyfriend status.
Big-O-Meter
Juliet had her Romeo, and Carrie had her Big. As in Mr. Big, the New York bachelor who brought a mixture of romance and heartbreak into her life — over and over again. Below, we rate the ups and downs of their lengthy romance, with 10 being the maximum amount of Big passion and 0 equaling Big blues.
SEASON 1
– Big and Carrie meet cute when he picks up some condoms that fall out of her purse. Rating: 2
– Big picks up Carrie for their first date, and once he spots her “naked dress,” they have sex within minutes. Rating: 7
– Big and Carrie’s infatuation phase is at its peak. Rating: 9
– Carrie has lunch with Big’s ex-wife — and likes her. Rating: 3
– For those keeping score at home, Carrie breaks up with the commitment-phobic Big for the first time at the end of Season One. Rating: 0
SEASON 2
– After a bout of passionate — oh, OK, merely enjoyable — bowling, Carrie and Big reignite their flame. Rating: 3
– Carrie tells Big she loves him, and at first only gets an unattractive purse in return (he later calls to say he loves her too). Rating: 6
– Carrie and Big’s Breakup No. 2 occurs when he moves to Paris (sound familiar?). Rating: 2
– Carrie runs into Big and his new stick-figure girlfriend at a Hamptons hoe-down. Rating: 1
– Big proposes to his new girlfriend after five months — having previously yanked Carrie’s chain for two years. She is not pleased. Rating: 0
SEASON 3
– Big confesses he can’t stop thinking about Carrie, and though she’s dating hunky Aidan, she and Big start having an affair. Rating: 4
– As Carrie sneaks out of Big’s apartment, she encounters Big’s angry wife. Rating: 2
– Even though her affair with Big has fizzled out (Breakup No. 3), Carrie confesses her infidelity to Aidan. Rating: 0
SEASON 4
– Big gets jealous when Carrie dates a jazz club owner, even though Big and Carrie aren’t officially dating. Rating: 3
– Big’s friendship with Carrie causes problems for her and Aidan, with whom she’s renewed her relationship. Rating: 2
– At Aidan’s country cottage, Big and Aidan have a tussle in the mud, but later the two men end up liking each other. Rating: 4
– After Carrie and Aidan break up, Big offers to help her buy her apartment, but Carrie tears up his check and buys the place herself (with Charlotte’s help). Rating: 3
– Carrie contemplates having sex with Big before he moves to California, but she has to rush off when Miranda goes into labor. (We’ll count this as Breakup No. 4.) Rating: 2
SEASON 5
– Carrie visits Big in California and enjoys his flummoxed reaction to her book, much of which concerns him. Rating: 5
– Big comes to New York in the midst of a medical crisis, and shows Carrie his tender side — before clamming up again and convincing her that she needs to move on for good. (Breakup No. 5?) Rating: 7
SEASON 6
– As her romance with Aleks heats up, Carrie gets repeated calls from Big — but deletes all his phone messages. Rating: 2
– Big makes a big play for Carrie on the eve of her departure for Paris, but she tells him they are finis. (Breakup No. 6?) Rating: 4
– Paris isn’t as fun as Carrie expected, and she pines for her girlfriends — and Big. Rating: 5
THE BIG SHOWDOWN: Will Carrie pick Big or Aleks? Or neither?
———-
YOU TELL US
We want to know what you thought of the “Sex” finale. The show should end at 8:45 Sunday night. E-mail your comments (keep it short, please) by 9:15 to ctc-arts@tribune.com and we’ll print the best on Monday Tempo.
Please include your name and hometown.
