The original “Dirty Dancing” movie left many questions unanswered: Why didn’t this 1987 megasmash turn Jennifer “Baby” Grey into a mega-star? Who in God’s name convinced Swayze to sing “She’s Like the Wind” for the soundtrack? And whatever happened to Swayze’s character, Johnny Castle, the mullet-headed dance stud who refused to let Baby be put in a corner?
The last question is one we care about the least, but moviegoers will learn the answer soon enough: Although “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” stars none of the original actors, Swayze returns as Johnny in a cameo. Otherwise, “Havana Nights” is no “sequel.” It’s set in Cuba, star Romola Garai was 5 years old when the original movie came out and the soundtrack is filled not with Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes but Wyclef Jean and Christina Aguilera.
But “Dirty Dancing” isn’t the first so-called sequel that bears little resemblance to its predecessor.
“BATMAN” Years of comic-book history would have us believe nobody in the world, not even the most accomplished supervillain, can identify Batman from the distinctive shape of his chin. Fine. But the “Batman”movie franchise would also have us believe Bruce Wayne’s closest friends don’t even bother to comment when his looks change drastically, from Michael Keaton to Val Kilmer to George Clooney.
“CADDYSHACK II” Bill Murray left, Chevy Chase stayed. That’s a bad transaction, kind of like the Cubs losing Lou Brock but retaining Joey Amalfitano. Jackie Mason isn’t worthy of carrying Rodney Dangerfield’s golf clubs as the blustering-but-sympathetic golfer.
“SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL” Two major problems plagued this 1997 sequel to Sandra Bullock’s star-making, bus-driving, Keanu Reeves-romancing original. First, amazingly, Jason Patric was even stiffer than Reeves. Second, Bullock was one of those magical actors who was charming and graceful in one movie — the original “Speed” — and systematically devolved into a hack by the second. Also, they replaced the bus with a cruise ship.
“DUMB AND DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD” Only Jim Carrey can make this concept, a drooling moron who manages to save the world and get the girl, work. Or maybe Jerry Lewis circa “The Family Jewels.” Otherwise, nobody. Certainly not “Felicity” alumnus Derek Richardson.
“JAWS 2, JAWS 3-D” “Jaws” shed key cast members with every sequel. Richard Dreyfuss didn’t come back for 1978’s “Jaws 2″and Dennis Quaid replaced Roy Scheider in 1983’s “Jaws 3-D.”
“HANNIBAL” At least Jackie Mason, for “Caddyshack 2,” had the sense to insist his character be called something other than Rodney Dangerfield’s Al Czervik. Not Julianne Moore. She took over for Jodie Foster as Agent Clarice Starling and, in addition to her glaring lack of creepy chemistry with Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter, had to confront the “Batman” replacement dilemma.
“TEEN WOLF TOO” This is one of the rare instances when a major star (Michael J. Fox) doesn’t return for the sequel but the movie isn’t particularly worse than the original. His replacement for this unwatchable 1987 reprise? Jason Bateman, recently winning rave reviews as Michael Bluth in Fox’ television comedy “Arrested Development.”
“BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2” “Blair Witch 2” confronted the pesky hurdle that all the original characters died in the first movie. But “2” didn’t even bother trying to reproduce the spontaneous fright of the first movie. It linked unknown no-talents such as Tristine Skylar with a formulaic script and pretty much crushed whatever momentum remained of the “Blair Witch” concept.
“2 FAST 2 FURIOUS” Paul Walker stayed on as Brian O’Conner in this 2003 follow-up to “The Fast and the Furious,” which helped make Vin Diesel a star. But Diesel’s missing from this one, as is everybody else in the cast. It’s trend-setting only in the sense that “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” could later retain a famous title but nothing else.
