Dear Abby: My husband started working the graveyard shift two months ago. It has been a hard transition for us, but even harder for our 11-year-old son “Ryan.”
For the past couple of weeks, Ryan has been overly concerned about someone breaking into our third-floor apartment while we’re asleep.
I’ve tried my best to reassure Ryan, but he keeps having nightmares about someone breaking into our place — or my parents’ apartment — and harming or killing us. He wakes up screaming and crying.
Do you have any suggestions about how I can make him feel more secure?
— Sleepless in New Westminster
Dear Sleepless: It would be helpful to know what triggered your son’s insecurity. Is he watching too much television? Is he playing violent video games? Has something happened at school or afterward that he is not telling you?
Talk to your son. If the problem persists, take him to his pediatrician for evaluation — and a referral to a psychologist, if necessary.
Dear Abby: I am a 47-year-old woman with a new (unplanned) baby.
Despite my husband’s initial reservations, we both consider her a welcome addition to our lives.
We also have three older children, 25, 21 and 18.
My doctor says I need time to adjust to all the recent changes in my life, but I believe there’s a bigger problem.
Ever since the baby arrived, I have been overwhelmed with fear about aging. This is completely out of character. Some days, I can’t even leave the house. I find myself pushing my husband away and neglecting the needs of the rest of my family.
The only one getting the best of me is the baby.
My husband thinks I’m trying to do too much, that I should stop breast-feeding, get help around the house and “snap out of it.”
My inability to communicate and be intimate with him is causing problems between us, and they are affecting the rest of our family.
My husband has always been my best friend, but he can’t understand how I feel these days.
I don’t know how to climb out of this hole.
— Trying To Do Too Much
Dear Trying: Tell your doctor exactly what you have told me. You may be suffering from postpartum depression.
Please don’t wait. Do it now.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, a.k.a. Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
