I am a former Chicago Transit Authority rider. Here is how my fellow citizens can improve the CTA experience:
When boarding the bus, wait until you are at the fare box before searching your pockets for your fare. The bus is already behind schedule, so why not create more of a delay?
Feel free to take up one seat for yourself and at least one more for your purse/bookbag/whatever. Pregnant women, the elderly and those with packages don’t need to sit.
If you do stand, please park it at the very front of the bus and do not, under any circumstances, allow others to pass by you to find space at the back.
Be very sure to entertain those around you by engaging in inane conversation with the person next to you at the top of your lungs. Better still if you use four-letter words liberally.
The dining car is open, and your fellow passengers will be happy to clear your crumbs, wrapper, cans and bottles for you.
Your children are absolutely endearing when they kick the seat in front of them and grab our hair with their sticky paws. We love that.
When exiting the bus, ignore all interior signs and even the driver’s instructions to utilize the rear door. Things would flow just too easily if you understood “in at the front, out at the back.”
