From: Tempo Subcommittee on the Financial and Cultural Benefits of Pai Gow Poker and other “games”
To: Mayor Daley
Re: Brainstorming gambling in Chicago
Gov. Blagojevich might be against a casino in the City of Chicago, but we’re all for it. In fact, as Danny Burnham might have said: Let’s think big.
– New city motto: “Potissimi pigni” (Best slots) replaces “Urbs in Horto” (City in a garden).
– New city flag: Slot machine triple-seven replaces four stars on current logo.
– Speeding tickets, double or nothing: A city cop pulls you over and, based on a quick hand of blackjack, you either get out of the fine or pay twice as much.
– Millennium Theme Park: In a nod to Vegas, Frank Gehry’s sculptured stage will become the site of a state-of-the-art psychedelic light show featuring white tigers, magic tricks and Celine Dion. (It’s an ambitious change in plans, but should take less time to complete than the original park design.)
– Navy Pier’s Ferris Wheel of Fortune: Come play the world’s biggest roulette game!
– Free parking for high rollers: Several million dollars should be set aside to build (or renovate) a lakefront island where big-time gamblers can land their private jets.
