My Bears newsletter says the 40-person party suite is available for both preseason games at a cost of $25,000. At that price, they should let your 40-person party suit up and scrimmage.
Brian Urlacher said he dropped his body fat from 6.9 percent to 5.2 percent in just two weeks. I’m celebrating with a double Whopper and fries. You should too. You’ve earned this.
The Cardinals finally left town. AND STAYOUT!
The Cubs sent Francis Beltran down to the minors. It would be appropriate if he walked there.
Guess this means Nomar Garciaparra really isn’t coming. Now I’m regretting my “Nomar” butt tattoo.
Raise your hand if you’re coming with me to Paris to see Lance win Tour de France No. 6. Let’s see, one, two, three, four … Oh boy. I’m going to need a much bigger boat.
If you’re a regular reader of Rob Ryder’s “Hollywood Jock” column on espn.com, it’s over. He will truly be missed. But go back and read the archives. Good stuff.
If you are wagering on any of the upcoming Olympic sports, bet the Greeks big in Greco-Roman wrestling. They practically invented the sport.
Can you spot the Olympic sport: Lawn mowing, trampoline or bocce ball?
You just hope none of the Olympic trampoline folks are on steroids. They’ll be bouncing for days.
Shaq told Miami residents, “I will be walking naked on the beach. If you take pictures of me naked on the beach, don’t sell them to the Enquirer unless I get 15 percent.”
Shaq was joking. We think. We pray.
Fox Sports’ Web site says Wayne Gretzky was not the greatest hockey player ever. This from the network that brought us the glowing puck.
It’s a fact: On this day in 1905, Weldon Henley threw a no-hitter for the Philadelphia Athletics, and his teammates still made fun of his name. Poor Smeldon.
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redeyesports@tribune.com; Edited by the Sports staff of RedEye.
