Don’t peg that rash of injuries at Bears camp to weight-loss programs or a lack of stretching or conditioning. Be rational. Blame it on the simple fact that Chicago is cursed.
Curses are silly. To suggest non-believers can be struck at any moment is–OUCH. OK, I’m down. Repeat: Whizzer is down!
Raise your hand if you’re throwing an Opening Ceremony party. Is it dress formal or toga?
The Olympics might cost Greece $7.2 billion. Next time just throw them at Trump’s.
Man, $7.2 billion. If every American sent me $10, we’d be nowhere near $7.2 billion. But let’s not let that stop us from trying.
Book this: If Middle-earth is in this Olympics, Legolas takes gold in archery. And men’s vault.
The U.S. men’s hoops team barely beat Germany. Woo-hoo. Germany didn’t qualify for the Olympics. Oh. Never mind.
NFL’s taking bids to produce the Super Bowl halftime show. Hint to bidders: Making a pitch for “Hats Off to the Topless” would be … not good.
Although “Saluting Wardrobe Malfunctions Throughout History” has a nice ring to it.
Looks like the Cowboys cut QB Quincy Carter because he had a nose for something other than the ball.
Video replay is coming to Big Ten football.
Let’s look at that again. Video replay is … wait, roll it back and go slower. Video … replay … is .. Freeze it. Right there. See that? One of my paws was about to type “stupid” but I pulled back just in time. First down!
Mayor Daley criticizing Tribune Co. about handling Wrigley Field: “They have all the ink you want in the world, and they can write any editorial they want, but they will not look at themselves.” I’m looking at myself right now. Is my butt really that big?
The list
Five teams Vinny Testaverde won’t win a Super Bowl with:
– Tampa Bay Buccaneers
– Cleveland Browns
– Baltimore Ravens
– New York Jets
– Dallas Cowboys
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redeyesports@tribune.com, Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
