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Is it just me or have the Olympics been on for about seven weeks now?

Every Olympics leads to a new pro league. This Olympics expect to witness the birth of the U.S.W.F.H.L. Yes, the U.S. Women’s Field Hockey League.

Watched all of Argentina vs. Japan on CNBC, and as far as I can tell, the point of field hockey is to lose possession of the ball as often as possible.

Wait, I think we found a new sport for the U.S. men’s basketball team.

It just hit me: Thanks to the U.S. hype machine, Michael Phelps is the Olympics’ answer to Howard Dean.

Damn you, Thorpedo.

Wish the Olympic TV channels kept their usual hosts so that James Lipton of “Inside the Actors Studio” could ask Allen Iverson, “What’s your favorite curse word?” I bet it’s “three-pointer.”

And then over on CNBC all of us could not watch John McEnroe interview himself.

Since table tennis is an Olympic sport, I’d like to see “table setting” as a trial sport in ’08.

Want to scout your newest Bull? Check out the recently signed Andres Nocioni, the 24-year-old Argentinian who dropped 12 points on Serbia-Montenegro. Huge.

Raise your hand if you want to stop talking Olympics. OK, now do it again but this time with a little more flair.

If the Bulls ever traded Eddy Curry to the Grizzlies, they could rename the team the Cuddlies. Or not.

The Cubs refuse to put teams away. That’s the difference between ’04 and ’03. Oh, and the falling chunks at Wrigley.

The Fire quietly took over sole possession of first in their conference. No, wait. Sorry, I was looking at the standings upside down.

Sorry. I buried the news: Argentina beat Japan 3-1, but bet on the Aussies to take field hockey gold. Jeremy Roenick, your money’s no good here. That tip’s on the house.

The list

Five international Olympic snacks:

– Greek salad

– French toast

– Canadian bacon

– Belgium waffles

– Brazil nuts

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redeyesports@tribune.com, Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.