So many questions, so little space . . . let’s get to it.
Q. Does college football need a playoff?
A It already has one. It’s called the regular season. One loss, and you might be knocked out of the hunt for a national championship. Two losses, and you better hope your favorite bowl committee wasn’t paying close attention.
Q. So how does the new BCS system work?
A A computer no longer will prevent a worthy team such as USC from playing for the Waterford crystal trophy. The Associated Press media poll counts for 33 percent, the coaches poll counts for 33 percent and an average of the six computers make up the final third. That means man cannot be trumped by machine. Take that, Dell!
Q. Does Joe Paterno need a treadmill?
A Look at it this way: Penn State’s 77-year-old coach no longer will get his exercise by sprinting 50 yards to chase down an official. Now that the Big Ten Conference has adopted instant replay–on an experimental basis–Paterno will have to climb the stairs to the press box to complain about a blown call.
Q. We know that all 44 Big Ten games will have replay. Which non-conference Big Ten home games won’t have it?
A Ten of them. Four schools (Arizona State, UCLA, Iowa State and San Diego State) took a pass on replay, and six other home games are not scheduled to be televised (Florida A&M and Western Michigan at Illinois; Central Michigan at Indiana; Illinois State at Minnesota; Kansas at Northwestern; Ball State at Purdue).
Q. Why didn’t Colorado fire Gary Barnett?
A School officials knew that if they canned him, he would have sued them for false termination and they would have spent the rest of their lives in a courtroom. Instead they’ll do the smart thing–fire him after he posts another losing record.
Q. What does political adviser James Carville have against Michigan?
A Who knows? But it’s something. The LSU alum recently ripped into Michigan, telling Sports Illustrated the Wolverines play “dull, uninspired, gutless football, year in and year out.”
Hey, James, stick to donkeys and elephants. Michigan ranked 15th in the nation in total offense last season, led the Big Ten in passing offense and produced 35.4 points a game.
Q. Who will get the biggest cheers at Georgia?
A Albert Hollis, a senior who still hasn’t played a down for the Bulldogs. Hollis arrived on campus as a big-time recruit, having rushed for 5,046 yards and 69 touchdowns as a high school player in Sacramento. But a horrendous knee injury in 2001–Hollis tore all his ligaments and suffered nerve damage–doomed him to three years of rehab. Lately Hollis has been slowed by a concussion, but he hopes to make it on the field as either a running back or safety.
Q. Which team is the Rodney Dangerfield of the Big Ten?
A That’s easy–Indiana. One of the Hoosiers’ Big Ten opponents reportedly asked them to move their home game to the visiting site. “They were trying to buy a home game,” Indiana coach Gerry DiNardo told the Indianapolis Star. None of the road teams on Indiana’s schedule–Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota or Penn State–admitted to the plot. Last year Ohio State paid San Diego State $1.2 million to move its game to Ohio Stadium.
Q. What was the dumbest move of the off-season?
A N.C. State’s decision to promote C.J. Hunter to assistant strength coach. Yes, the same C.J. Hunter who retired from shot-putting in 2000 after testing positive for steroids four times and who reportedly claimed to have injected ex-wife Marion Jones with performance-enhancing drugs. “Next on `60 Minutes,’ our new correspondent: Jayson Blair!” N.C. State later wised up, reassigning Mr. BALCO to a spot within the athletic department, where he has worked since 2001. “He has done a great job for us,” Wolfpack coach Chuck Amato said. I bet he has.
Q. What’s the quickest route to the NFL?
A Play quarterback at Michigan. Every Wolverines starting QB since 1989 (Elvis Grbac, Todd Collins, Scott Dreisbach, Brian Griese, Tom Brady, Drew Henson and, most likely, John Navarre) has made it to the next level.
Q. What’s the best name in college football?
A It has to be Richie Incognito, the starting center for Nebraska. Considering he was convicted of misdemeanor assault over the summer, perhaps Incognito’s name isn’t working.
