Tribune staff reporter Barbara Mahany’s “Mitzvah envy” may give readers a skewed idea of the typical bar or bat mitzvah party celebrated by Jewish families. Mahany describes the extravagant “faux mitzvah” fetes of gentile kids as a “frank imitation of the Jewish coming-of-age blast, albeit minus one speck of religion.”
The parties that she describes, however, imitate only an extreme version of Jewish bar or bat mitzvah celebration. While some Jewish families may opt for $40,000 bashes with professional video montages of their “star,” other families celebrate more modestly. At our reform synagogue in Chicago, bar and bat mitzvah celebrations vary. Many families follow the service with a lunch at the synagogue; some families give more formal or lavish parties elsewhere. None of the parties, however, has approached the extravagance described in Mahany’s article. It is embarrassing to see such excesses imitated and then reflected back as a norm of the Jewish community.
