We ought not to confuse the extravagance of the parties with the real power of the bar mitzvah. Conspicuous consumption is a part of the American way. But while we may feel distaste toward the excess, the useful insight is what faux mitzvahs say about the openness and sharing of rituals in our society.
Bar mitzvah has entered the larger culture. It touches the human need to acknowledge the shift from childhood to adolescence, and provides a framework for marking this period as one of growing awareness and responsibility. For some, the party may overcast the spiritual/religious meaning, but the fact is that our society has few ways to note this transition, so many have adopted the bar mitzvah.
The teen years are often seen as a dangerous time, when young people may engage in harmful behavior. The bar mitzvah offers another avenue. It uses a tradition to affirm the new phase, provides a public celebration with loved ones to indicate the change in the nature of the relationships and offers a way for the generations to share in the transmission of their legacy and values.
While the faux mitzvah may not incorporate all of these elements, it speaks to the desire to participate in the gifts of each other’s traditions.
