There was a great football movie called “The Longest Yard,” but there ought to be a movie called “The Longest Minute.” A yard’s always 3 feet, but a football minute’s flexible. Picture this. You’re watching the end of a game, and your wife is waiting so you can go visit relatives. You truthfully say, “Only a minute to play.” Then there’s a timeout. Then a penalty. A sideline pass stops the clock. Seven and a half minutes in real time have passed. The QB runs out of bounds. Then an injury stops the clock. There’s a commercial. Two minutes, maybe three of beer and cars. We’re back. Madden says, “Forty-three seconds, and the Bears are threatening.” What’s really threatening is your wife, glaring at you. It’s been like 10 minutes now, this football minute, and who knows how much longer the game will go? Ah, the flexible football minute.
