Ethel Bernstein’s dying words, “So beautiful,” seemed to sum up her 89 years of life for the loved ones gathered around the Chicago woman who, after retiring, studied music in Italy, formed a seniors band, wrote an aerobics book and, for laughs, was an extra in three movies.
Mrs. Bernstein died of age-related complications Wednesday, Sept. 1, in Highland Park Hospital after a few last jokes that filled the room with laughter, her family said.
“She had such a spirit,” her daughter, Lesley Shapiro, said. “People gravitated toward her because she was always smiling and always upbeat and always fun.”
In her 20s, Mrs. Bernstein read aloud to injured World War II soldiers as a volunteer with the American Red Cross’ Gray Ladies corps. She then married Harry Dahlin and, with him, had two children, Lesley and Bob.
By 1949, Dahlin had multiple sclerosis and was unable to work, her son, Bob, said. Mrs. Bernstein rejected suggestions from friends that she place her husband in a nursing home and instead found work with the R.H. Donnelly Corp., becoming one of the company’s first female advertising agents.
She supported her husband and children by selling advertising space in the Yellow Pages. During the 1970s, Mrs. Bernstein also appeared in a few television commercials–one for Budweiser–and worked as a film extra in “Damien: Omen II,” “A Wedding” and “Mahogany,” said her son, an assistant director on those projects.
Mrs. Bernstein retired from R.H. Donnelly in 1980. Harry Dahlin died five years later.
“Up until then, her life was raising her family,” her son said. After that, she met and married Nathan Bernstein, and “that’s when she started her life again,” Dahlin said.
Mrs. Bernstein began teaching aerobics to seniors and in 1985 wrote an unpublished book circulated among area nursing homes called “Body Fix: The Fun Way to Fitness After 60.”
During the late 1980s Mrs. Bernstein began studying music, earning associate degrees from Harold Washington College in Chicago and the University of Sienna in Italy in music, her family said.
At 79, Mrs. Bernstein started her own band: Ethel’s Songfest, a quartet that featured her on piano, a drummer, a bass player and a flutist playing hits from the 1920s, ’30s and ’40s.
Mrs. Bernstein’s second husband died from heart complications after surviving two occurrences of cancer, her son said.
Through it all, “she kept her sense of humor,” he said. “She had this ability to laugh at herself.”
It was Mrs. Bernstein’s humor that lightened the mood during her final hours in the hospital, after she had experienced lung complications and other ailments. Going in and out of consciousness, she awoke one moment to a nurse’s question: Would she like to hear some live harp music?
“That would be nice, but I think it would send the wrong message,” Mrs. Bernstein joked.
When her family played a recorded version of Richard Strauss’ “Moonlight Music from Capriccio,” Mrs. Bernstein awoke again and uttered her last words.
“So beautiful,” she told her family.
Besides her two children, Mrs. Bernstein is survived by four grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. A family service is scheduled for 10 a.m. Tuesday at Piser Chapel, 9200 N. Skokie Blvd., Skokie.
