It might take some time to spot him, but that will be Dick Jauron plotting to stop the Bears on Sunday at Soldier Field.
Q. It’s not a nice question, but some are asking what else is new?
A. You’re right. Not nice. It’s not John Shoop; it’s Jauron, who is getting paid as defensive coordinator of the Lions.
Q. Isn’t he still getting paid by the Bears?
A. Actually, yes. The Bears are obligated to make up the difference between what the Lions are paying him and what the Bears agreed to pay him through 2005.
Q. How much is each team paying?
A. The Lions are paying him $500,000 and the Bears $1.7 million because he was scheduled to make $2.2 million if the Bears had not fired him.
Q. So Jauron is working for both teams?
A. Not exactly. It’s all part of the big combined show. NFL coaches are akin to elephant trainers in a traveling circus, or in Jauron’s case, bear trainer turned lion tamer. Jauron has worked for Green Bay, Chicago, Detroit. He’s employed by the NFC North circus.
Q. Speaking of traveling, aren’t the Lions more like possums the way they get killed on the road?
A. They are not-so-proud holders of the current NFL record, 24 straight road losses.
Q. Can the Bears make it 25?
A That’s the plan, the expectation, the prediction, the foregone conclusion, the destiny of coach Lovie Smith in his Chicagodebut.
Q. But didn’t the Lions beat the Bears in their last game?
A. Yes, 12-10 in a game that probably sealed Jauron’s fate.
Q. And didn’t the Lions also beat Smith’s St. Louis Rams defense in their last game of the regular season?
A. Yes, 30-20 after the Rams blew a 20-10 halftime lead.
Q. So why are the Lions underdogs?
A. Those two victories were in Detroit.
Q. If this goes overtime, will Steve Mariucci elect to kick off if he wins the toss?
A. Only if he wants to go down in Lions lore alongside Marty Mornhinweg.
Q. What Lions lore?
A. Now there’s a good question. It’s the one the Lions are trying hardest to answer.
