If you’re like me, this crazy NL Wild Card race is wreaking havoc on your nerves. Of course, if you’re like me, you’re naked and waddling around your living room looking for a fresh chew toy.
And to Corey Patterson, I apologize. The real you has arrived. Keep the old you busy and far, far from the park.
No Mike Ditka on the Soldier Field statue? Once again, the Bears fail to fully utilize the tight end.
Purdue-Illinois will decide who gets the Purdue Cannon this week. Let me help: Just buy another one, then everyone’s happy.
Tom Sizemore plays Pete Rose in this “Hustle” movie, but I still think the role should have gone to Adam Rich.
Damn. A drug used for prostate problems and hair loss was added to the list of banned substances. And there go my plans to ski jump at the ’08 Olympics.
That’s $550,000 in fines for the 20 CBS-owned TV stations for the Super Bowl halftime fiasco. Wow, scary. If CBS is smart, they give the FCC a 30-second ad next time and bill them for the remaining $1.5 million.
I say for the next Super Bowl, trot out four FCC squares and have them sing barbershop quarter songs. In boxers.
So ESPN’s so-called World Series of Poker has all these men and women players but no dogs. Not exactly reality TV, is it?
Look for Mike Piazza of the New York Mets to show up on the next episode of “The Apprentice.” Or don’t.
Mario Andretti is Grand Marshal of New York City’s Oct. 11 Columbus Day Parade. Average speeds of the parade float could reach 200 m.p.h.
Two-time MLS MVP Preki is out after left ankle surgery. Now he’s just Pokey.
Five things …
Five real sports in the running for possible inclusion at the 2012 Olympics:
Golf
Rugby
Squash
Karate
Roller hockey
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redeyesports@tribune.com, Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
