Summer faded about as fast as your tan, and by now your legs are almost blindingly white. Spray-on tans sound enticing, but you’re afraid of ending up orange. Fear not–metromix editors bravely sampled five different kinds of spray-on tanning treatments. Read on for the good, the bad and the ugly.
Where: Urbanshe
1 E. Oak St. 312-988-9299
System: Sunless Express
Price: $30
Atmosphere: Very spalike. The front area is decorated with mod couches, flowers and beaded curtains.
Service: The receptionist led me to a large, private room with a tanning booth that looks like a shower stall, candles, a mirror and a chair. She went through all the steps, emphasizing the importance of moisturizing for an even tan. Even after a ton of questions, she never lost her cool or her smile.
Experience: Fully moisturized, with barrier cream on all the spots I didn’t want tan (fingernails, toenails, palms, bottoms of the feet), I stepped into the booth. Within one minute, I was covered with brown goo. The key was to use the terry cloth buff to spread the stuff evenly postspray. I did it, but the dim lighting made it difficult to see.
Results: For some reason, the goo wouldn’t dry, so I got dressed while still moist, getting it all over my silk camisole (it came out after dry cleaning). But I was happy with the tan, which lasted four days. The only drawback: my toes looked like breakfast sausage links.
Would I do it again? Possibly–it seems like a lot of fuss for something that lasts for just a few days.
–Laura Baginski, events producer
Where: Ultimate Exposure
3320 N. Broadway Ave. 773-472-2900
Price: $30
System: InstaBronze
Atmosphere: Clinical, in a sperm bank sort of way. Tiny hallways, lined with tiny doors, leading to tiny rooms with tanning beds.
Service: The brown-as-a-nut kid behind the counter was a walking, talking tan advertisement, and very thorough. Maybe too thorough. My head spun from his rapid-fire instructions. Then he started with the up-sell: tanning packages, creams, moisturizers. He made it clear: If I didn’t pop for moisturizer, he wouldn’t be held responsible for streaks. I broke down and bought the lotion. Add $3.26.
Experience: Despite tan boy’s plethora of pointers, I screwed up. Eager to get it over with, I stripped and stepped into the booth. But a half-second before the nozzles sprayed, I remembered: My glasses! I whipped them off but panicked. Was I supposed to hold my breath? I gasped, drooled, whimpered amidst a brown fog. Then I turned. Again: gasp, whimper, drool. Done. I wiped myself down as instructed.
Results: My face and arms were only subtly darkened; my thick tuft of body hair blocked most from my chest, legs, and, uh, other parts.
Would I do it again? Next time, I’ll opt for the sperm bank.
–Chris LaMorte, dining producer.
Where: Soleil
1018 W. Madison St. 773-826-6464
System: Mist-On Spray Tan
Price: $27
Atmosphere: The reception area has a chic feel, but the gloss is gone once you stroll past piles of building materials to reach the no-frills tanning areas.
Service: A helpful female employee went through the routine with me, reviewing the proper poses (a combo of “Charlie’s Angels” and ballet moves).
Experience: It took several tries to get the start button to work, but the machine kicked into action, and 60 chilly, loud seconds later it was over.
Results: I–a fair-skinned redhead–had a natural-looking, yet damp, glow. Though the closetlike room’s lighting was dim and I had to stand on my toes to see my face in the tiny mirror, I felt dry and comfortable stepping back into my clothes after dabbing with a towel.
Would I do it again? You betcha. My “tan”–which deepened overnight and lasted for six days–has earned me more compliments than dropping 30 pounds.
–Leigh Behrens, metromix editor.
Where: Spiced Tan
1162 W. Grand Ave. 312-850-1940.
System: Summer Image
Price: $32.
Atmosphere: Clean-lined and spalike. But what’s with the house music? It’s not exactly soothing when you’re drenched in brown gunk.
Service: Patient enough to explain and re-explain the many steps and how the “summer image” tan works: The skin changes color the way a cut apple turns brown when left out. Talk about a down-sell.
Experience: Embarrassment aside, the hard part is getting the tan even. The spray only lasts for 3 seconds, during which you quickly turn to the right, lifting your leg and both arms (fingers splayed). Hold. Now left. (Note: This is the “Thriller” dance.)
Results: Immediately bronzed, tropical within two hours. Not too streaky, considering I didn’t do the “Thriller.”
Would I do it again? Not even if someone paid me.
–Jessica Volpe, special contributor.
