Major League Baseball’s decision to move the Expos from Montreal to Washington, D.C., may seem like a simple franchise relocation. But RedEye sees the big picture, which dates back to when the U.S. sacked Ft. York and the British burned D.C.
Don’t forget the Grizzlies ditched Vancouver for Memphis, the Jets left Winnipeg and became the Phoenix Coyotes, and the Nordiques folded up in Quebec and reappeared as the Colorado Rockies.
So let’s not stop there. Many non-Canadian cities missed out on the Expos: Las Vegas; Norfolk, Va.; Monterrey, Mexico; Portland, Ore.; and Northern Virginia.
Here’s what they get for playing.
Portland
The Edmonton Oilers go to Portland and immediately become the Portland Environmentally Friendly Electric Cars. They finish last, but their hockey gear smells much better. And they feel better too. Maybe it’s the pregame granola.
Las Vegas
They get the Calgary Flames and the Toronto Blue Jays. Once from Atlanta, the Sin City Flames’ off-ice entertainment will include a giant interactive fan area called “The Tenth Ring of Hell.” And as we all know, Blue Jays are native to the Nevada desert.
Fargo, N.D.
They didn’t make a pitch for the
Expos, and for that they should be commended. Let’s merge the Ottawa Senators and Vancouver Canucks and send them whatever’s left over.
Monterrey, Mexico
Big winners in this shake-up. Monterrey gets the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Raptors. This gives the NHL a much-needed presence in Mexico, and it gives the Raptors’ disgruntled Vince Carter one more thing to whine about.
Northern Virginia
Put your hands together for the Toronto Maple Leafs. There is nothing more beautiful than the leaves turning colors during autumn in Virginia. Memo to new uniform designers: Think rusty browns and muted yellows, and let’s use a crisp material.
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye
