TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: BRAWL FALLOUT: FIVE PACERS players, seven fans charged. next steps?
TOPIC 2: what’s going to be the big sports scandal of 2005?
TOPIC 3: Nomar stays with the cubs. what does this mean for chicago?
TOPIC 4: suggest one punishment to be included in the mlb steroid testing policy.
TOPIC 5: if Lance Armstrong doesn’t race in the next tour de France, what else can he do?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Stick ’em all in a house, set up cameras, put it on Fox. Voila.
Barry Bonds earns lifetime Wonka factory ban for stealing Fizzy Lifting drink.
A World Series title! But only if he’s traded in mid-season.
If you’re found to be using steroids, no body armor allowed while batting.
Record a pop album, lip-sync it on “Good Morning, America.”
PHIL THOMPSON
Job swap. A 5-foot-10 forward with a beer belly vs. Ben Wallace.
Peyton Manning will admit he’s been lip-synching his audibles.
We’ll have the Magglio Ordonez of shortstops. I’ll let you decide what that means.
One-year suspension or an hour of “Hustle.” Death is not an option.
Armstrong could start making toys. Eh, that’s a … stretch.
LEO EBERSOLE
“Chair Amnesty Day” at The Palace.
A booster caught paying a major university to fire its football coach.
Three All-Star-caliber infielders. (Let the disappointment begin.)
Offenders must take a female bodybuilder out on a date.
I hear Sheryl needs a tambourine player.
WHIZZER
Have them all do karaoke. Really. Karaoke cures all.
2005 will be the first scandal-free year. Right, Mr. Imaginary Bunny?
Three words: More. Mia. Sightings.
Rub their noses in it and send them outside. No, wait, that’s something else.
Train to become the first bicyclist to win the Indy 500.
BAG BOY
They all go on to write award-winning children’s books.
Unidentified man in paper bag moons every Chicago team
on the same day.
Old news. What about Beltran? Gimme an update. Let’s go, c’mon.
Anyone found using gets sent to the Devil Rays.
Go to France, tap a keg and toast each passing rider. Every day.
