1. Front roooow
Now about those on-the-field seats at Soldier Field: If I wanted to watch folks drive back and forth without scoring, I’d park my Barcalounger on Michigan Avenue and heckle traffic.
2. Give it up
Bears play at Detroit then come home to face Green Bay. I was going to try to explain what needs to happen for the Bears to make the playoffs, but I started laughing, and then I spilled my hot tea, and now I’m thinking, “Oh what’s the use?”
3. Tough, tough year
Cleveland, Miami, Oakland, San Francisco and Tennessee were eliminated from NFL playoff contention. And no one from those teams made People’s “Sexiest Men Alive.” And none of them are dating Mandy Moore. Not one.
4. Wish I may
Let’s root to see one NFL team make the playoffs with a losing record just so the Bears have something to shoot for next season.
5. Home, sweet home
So Indy’s building a new stadium with a retractable dome. Whenever I see these, I think of bald guys who do the comb-over. Then again, that could be the eggnog talking.
6. Chalk up a W
Break out the bubbly. Illinois doesn’t play Michigan in football next season.
7. Sure, but …
After Illinois spanked Valparaiso 93-65, Valpo coach Homer Drew said, “We became a better basketball team.”
8. One crazy game
OK this is weird: The list of 87 players announced for this year’s Masters is exactly the same as my Christmas card list.
9. Calendar models
Tennis star Andy Roddick’s new calendar is made by the same company behind the ones for tennis’ Anna Kournikova, golf’s Natalie Gulbis and nude boating’s Pamela Anderson.
WHAT’S GOING ON
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“Peyton Manning has 47 TD passes in his last 14 games. Think that sounds impressive? Wait until you hear about the Bears’ futility. In the last 54 regular season games going back to Nov. 19, 2001, against Tampa Bay, the quarterbacks for the Bears have thrown 48 TD passes.”
–GREG GUGGER
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye
