How might TV’s “Desperate Housewives” handle everyday housekeeping dilemmas? Desperately, of course.
Desperate housewife: Susan Mayer
Desperate dilemma: Red wine stain on carpet
Desperate solution: Peek through the window of the home of the best-looking man in the neighborhood and notice a woman’s shadow. Put on a form-fitting outfit and investigate the situation under the guise of borrowing club soda. Ultimately mop up the stain with tears of woe.
Desperate housewife: Gabrielle Solis
Desperate dilemma: Surprise mother-in-law visit
Desperate solution: Call her husband and complain royally. Bark orders at her maid to tidy up the house. Then open the door, reluctantly kiss her mother-in-law and make an excuse to leave the house for an afternoon fling as soon as possible.
Desperate housewife: Bree Van De Kamp
Desperate dilemma: Overcooked goose in the oven, guests at the table
Desperate solution: Construct a detailed plan to divert attention to other, pristine, elements of the dinner: a beautiful sprout salad, luminous oyster hors d’oeuvres and a sumptuous chocolate flan.
Desperate housewife: Lynette Scavo
Desperate dilemma: Children’s scribbles and paint on family antiques
Desperate solution: Reconcile herself to the fact that children will be children and that antiques probably don’t have a place in the house with kids anyway.
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Edited by Cara DiPasquale (cdipasquale@tribune.com) and Kris Karnopp (kkarnopp@tribune.com)
