1. Be honest
When you woke up Monday and stared out at the gray, rainy, end-of-the-world day ahead, you still smiled because you knew the Bears season is done.
2. Is he really the answer?
“With the No. 4 pick in the 2004 NFL draft, the Bears select … Braylon Edwards, wide receiver, University of Michigan.” Cue primal scream of agony.
3. Bears in ’05
I have the Bears going 13-3, maybe even 15-1. Of course, if John Tait is hurt, they don’t win a game.
4. From here on out
The Los
Angeles
Angels of
Anaheim? Right. And my name is
Chicago’s Whizzer at RedEye. I’ll have new
stationery out shortly.
5. It’s an SAT question
Cubs fans are to Carlos Beltran as I am to an eight-cylinder Ferrari F430. Excited? Yes. Likely? Stop staring at your driveway. It ain’t coming.
6. Thorn in my side
To those who voted for my induction into baseball’s Hall of Fame, bless you. But I’m not going in before Pete Rose and that’s final.
7. It’s a Whizzer no-no
My Orange Bowl pick was Oklahoma until I saw Bob Stoops wearing a sun visor on backward. Therefore, USC 24, Oklahoma 10.
8. Nightie night
Oh goodie, the pay-per-view Lingerie Bowl is back.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
9. True story
The company behind the Lingerie Bowl says they focus on making “some of the industry’s most thought-provoking film and
television.” Ahh, Hollywood.
———-
FIVETHINGS…
About the Orange Bowl:
– Shaq will be at the ceremonial coin flip.
– President John F. Kennedy attended the 1963 game.
– Kelly Clarkson is singing at halftime this year.
– It was started in 1932 to attract tourists during The
Depression.
– It’s played at Pro Player Stadium, not the Orange Bowl Stadium.
