TODAY’S QUESTIONS:
TOPIC 1: what’s next for ex-bears offensive coordinator terry shea?
TOPIC 2: who cries the most at next summer’s baseball hall of fame inductions?
TOPIC 3: flamboyant redskins back clinton portis says he’ll “make news” in the off-season. How?
TOPIC 4: when the ratings come out, how many people will have watched the orange bowl?
TOPIC 5: what new year’s resolution have you broken already?
JIMMY Greenfield:
He’s already got a gig lined up as a dancing pickle on the new Merv Griffin Show.
Ron Santo, and not for the right reasons.
Let’s just say it involves Nathan Lane, a ring and at least one flower girl named Tank.
Millions upon millions, or as many as watched the season finale of “According to Jim.”
I had vowed to stop being fabulous. Sadly, it was an impossible dream.
Leo Ebersole:
Drawing up bubble screens on used diner napkins.
Bag Boy, when he realizes Todd Walker is currently playing
second.
I dunno, by breaking a tackle? Not fumbling his wallet?
The same number of people that’ll miss a dynamite episode of “The biggest Loser.”
I watched the Bulls. Is that so wrong?
Weather guy:
Big snowstorm coming, so he can shovel sidewalks, maybe even dig out some street parking spots.
Cubs fans as they remember when the team had a good second baseman.
Maybe he plans on actually scoring.
20 million or so. Imagine how well a college football playoff would do.
Trying to help Whizzer diet. I still give him table scraps. He’s so cute when he begs.
Whizzer:
More time for long walks in the woods. And he gets lost every time.
Ryno. Such a passionate speaker, this one.
He invades Cuba using only a Jet Ski and a bag of rotten fruit.
Let’s see, counting my immediate family, 21. So more than 21.
I don’t beg, I ask nicely. And keep the lamb chops coming, Captain Forecast.
Bag Boy:
Easy. He punts.
Leo, when I stick my fist in his gut.
He single-handedly solves the NHL lockout. Please, somebody, do something!
It draws a 15.1 rating. Bonus pick: Attendance hits 76,932. And yes, I’m a nerd.
Despite my best intentions, I continue to drink my light beer through a straw.
