Poor Cardinals.
Ever since Chicago’s other NFL franchise left the city in 1960, it’s moments of glory have been few. This is not one of them.
The Cardinals–who have resided in Arizona since 1988–trumpeted a new helmet design on Thursday. Welcome the new logo, same as the old logo.
How the Cardinals’ new image stacks up with similar icons:
OLD LOGO / BACKGROUND
Had represented the team ever since its move to St. Louis in 1960.
NEW LOGO / BACKGROUND
Like a cartoonish version of the old one, and a little heavy on the mascara.
TIPPY THE TURTLE / BACKGROUND
Magazine ads implored you to draw him for a shot at a coveted art school scholarship.
BRIGITTE NIELSEN / BACKGROUND
Former Mrs. Sylvester Stallone played a Cardinal-haired warrior in Red Sonja.
OLD LOGO / RESPECT AMONG THEIR PEERS
Not much fear factor, but a lot has to do with how bad the team was.
NEW LOGO / RESPECT AMONG THEIR PEERS
Still not quite fearsome; more ill-tempered than anything.
TIPPY THE TURTLE / RESPECT AMONG THEIR PEERS
He was replaced by a swarthy pirate. Who draws pirates?
BRIGITTE NIELSEN / RESPECT AMONG THEIR PEERS
She hangs out with Anna Nicole Smith and dates Flavor Flav. ‘Nuff said.
OLD LOGO / MORTAL ENEMY
The Toronto Blue Jay. It’s winter, and that means every bird for himself.
NEW LOGO / MORTAL ENEMY
Ball State. And every other college team that will claim copyright infringement.
TIPPY THE TURTLE / MORTAL ENEMY
Hares. Cocky little fur balls who think they’re so fast.
BRIGITTE NIELSEN / MORTAL ENEMY
Sobriety.
Winner: Tippy. Look at the profile. That air of quiet confidence. That is a man among turtles.
