Frequently asked questions about the State of the Union address:
When is the State of the Union address given?
By law, it takes place on the first available date closest to Super Bowl Sunday.
Why does the address take place in the House of Representatives chamber?
It has the best bathrooms.
Why is the address called the State of the Union?
Mostly because it sounds better than Shtick of the Union.
How long is the address?
Generally 60 to 70 applause interruptions.
How long would the average speech be without all the applause?
About the length of a minute with Andy Rooney.
Why do the people in the audience applaud so much?
Primarily, it is to show the folks back home that they’re awake. But some of them are also devotees of Applause Yoga.
Does anyone not applaud?
Yes, Sen. Kennedy.
Why is that?
He’s usually asleep.
How does the president get members of the opposition to clap?
By taking courageous positions, such as coming out in favor of happiness.
What is behind all the standing ovations?
About 10 volts per chair.
What happens if a member doesn’t stand when everyone else does?
50 volts.
Who announces the president’s arrival?
The House bouncer.
Why are two people seated directly behind the president when he is speaking?
The one wearing the suit and tie is Dennis Hastert, the speaker of the house. The one wearing the snorkel parka, ski cap and hiking boots is Vice President Dick Cheney.
What is their role?
To preside, to clap at the right times and to consciously refrain from engaging in any type of personal grooming.
Are any members of the government excused from the speech?
Historically, one member of the president’s Cabinet does not attend.
Why is that?
To ensure continuity in the event of a catastrophe, and to walk the president’s dog if he’s late.
What member of the president’s Cabinet was absent last year?
The secretary of commerce.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the secretary of defense stay away?
He doesn’t like dogs.
Why do members of the Supreme Court attend the address?
To give citizens an idea of how long each one has left.
How does the opposition party decide who will give the postaddress rebuttal?
That duty usually falls to the highest-ranking party member who looks the most uncomfortable on camera.
