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Every Valentine’s Day, millions of Americans delude themselves into thinking they’re going to enjoy a romantic dinner out. What usually happens is what you would expect on the second-busiest restaurant day of the year: long waits, packed dining rooms, frantic service and dishes that don’t quite dazzle as they should.

“Amateur night” is what they call Valentine’s Day in the restaurant trade. So be a love “pro” and curl up with your favorite baby and a bottle of fine Champagne at home. (Book a table at your favorite restaurant for later next week.)

The French may not have invented romance but they certainly got the packaging of courtship down right. Nothing else says romance quite like Champagne, the greatest sparkling wine in the world.

Champagne’s charm is enhanced by the cost. We all want to feel indulged, especially in romantic situations, and there’s pleasure in being poured something so costly.

The message is as clear as a long, hot stare: You’re worth it. That we often feel compelled to drain the whole bottle–finish the wine before the bubbles die!–can lend an air of decadent abandon to an affair a deux.

Of course, Champagne wouldn’t be Champagne if it were not for the quality of what is poured in that glass. That’s one reason the French are so persnickety about what gets called Champagne and what is merely sparkling wine. For them, Champagne is sparkling wine grown within the official boundaries of the Champagne region from a choice of three grape varieties: chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier.

The taste, at once crisply dry yet sweetly yeasty, snaps the taste buds into attention as tiny pinpoint bubbles dance on the tongue. The scent is subtle but definite. Color, too, can be a factor. Rose Champagnes can glow like a fiery sunset or blush as demurely as a virginal maiden.

“Champagne always gets me into the mood,” said Brian Duncan, wine director of Bin 36 restaurant. “I’d drink it every day if offered.”

Who wouldn’t? Never has the prospect of dimming one’s wits seemed so appealing as with Champagne.

Even Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, a 19th Century French gourmet who knew his way around the table, fell under Champagne’s charm.

“Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them, and Champagne makes you do them,” he wrote.

And, really, isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?

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Sips that speak volumes

The Good Eating tasting panel popped its cork over a number of these mid-range French Champagnes.

Those who had taken part in a December tasting of “bargain” sparkling wines found these Champagnes to be more aromatic, more flavorful and more elegant than their cheaper cousins. And, really, isn’t that the way it should be? Champagne is one thing in life where you should get what you pay for.

These Champagnes beg to be paired with sensual, romantic foods. Some pairing suggestions for your Valentine’s dinner a deux are listed below.

1995 Bruno Paillard Champagne Brut

“Love and Silk” is the title of the artwork displayed on the label of this vintage bubbly. It’s appropriate given how silky-smooth this wine is. A classic blend of chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier, it is appealingly balanced. Toasty, buttery notes bloom atop the wine’s flinty core and there’s a light citrus spritz on the finish. Serve with a cheese or crab souffle, smoked salmon, sauteed sweetbreads or eggs Benedict.

(3 corkscrews) $84

Laurent-Perrier Champagne Grand Siecle La Cuvee

Crisp, with a pleasantly assertive yeasty finish, this non-vintage Champagne offers hints of fruit and almonds on the tongue–and plenty of bubbles. Most panelists enjoyed the wine, but one said it lacked the “wow” factor. Serve with raw oysters, pasta with fennel, lobster bisque.

(3 corkscrews) $65

1997 Korbel Le Premier

This sparkling wine from California’s Russian River Valley was our low-priced “trick” pour and it managed to fool nearly everyone. At $19, this non-vintage wine is a great value, with just a twinkle of grapey sweetness to round out the crisp, bright flavors. “Delightful sipping bubbly,” one panelist wrote. Serve with lobster, oysters, mushroom risotto.

(3 corkscrews) $19

1990 R&L Legras Champagne Cuvee St. Vincent

This vintage blanc de blancs had an elegant austere finish and a bit more oomph (some thought more alcohol) than the others. Those who liked the Champagne talked of its minerality softened by a touch of grapey sweetness. Critics thought the wine too herbal and abrasive. Serve with surf ‘n’ turf, caviar, onion tart, oysters.

(2 corkscrews) $64

1995 Heidsieck & Co. Champagne Monopole Diamant Bleu

The price says wow, but the wine didn’t deliver. The panel liked this vintage Champagne well enough but didn’t come away excited. The wine’s minerality, balance, lingering green apple finish and striking faceted bottle all won approving nods. Serve with scallops, fresh pasta with truffle-cream sauce, creamy cheeses, prosciutto.

(2 corkscrews) $100

Gosset Champagne Grande Reserve

This non-vintage bubbly comes in a sensually curved bottle with a sexy blood-red label. The look is perfect for Valentine’s Day. But what counts is what’s inside, and this Champagne just barely earned a two-corkscrew rating from the taste panel. Those who liked it spoke of the wine’s crispness and floral aftertaste. Others thought the wine just OK, with little finish.

(2 corkscrews) $54

Sources: We found these wines at Sam’s Wines & Spirits, Antioch Armanetti’s, Sal’s Beverage World in Addison, Elmhurst and Rolling Meadows, and The Wine Cellar in Palatine. Not every wine may be in stock at your local stores; prices may vary. Prices are rounded off.

Ratings key:

(4 corkscrews) Excellent

(3 corkscrews) Very good

(2 corkscrews) Good

(1 corkscrew) Fair

(No corkscrews) Poor

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Hear Bill Daley on WBBM Newsradio 780 at 6:21 p.m. and 10:22 p.m. each Tuesday and 7:52 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday.