I recently wrote about Priscilla and Candace. Priscilla was getting divorced after 27 years of unhappiness. Candace has been married for 40 miserable years to a man she despises, but she’s too worn down to do anything about it. It was a depressing column. So today we hear about some long-term happily-ever-afters. . . .
Stella: “I’ve been married for 52 years to an adorable man. For our 50th anniversary, he gave me a beautiful three-stone ring and a trip to Europe. We had a fabulous party for 60 guests. Although sexy may not be the best adjective for those of us over 70, affectionate, loving and cuddly are still right on.”
Janet: “I’ve been married 42 years. I met my husband when we were 14 years old and we married at 22. Friends first and lovers second. I always worked outside the home. I believe that our marriage was strengthened by that. I didn’t live through him and my happiness didn’t depend upon him. We had a meltdown when we were married 12 years, and we worked through it carefully and with a counselor. Today, with my children grown and out of the house, we are best friends second and lovers first.”
Natalie: “I’m coming up on my 25th wedding anniversary and there is not one day, one hour, one minute I would do differently. My husband is the best. He kisses. He hugs. He tells me he loves me. All he wants in return is the same thing. He gives me affection in front of the kids. They’re always telling us, `Get a room.’ It’s not sexual. It’s love.”
Charlotte: “When I see golden anniversary cards, I’ll think of my parents who have been married almost 50 years. When I was a teenager and couldn’t stand my dad, I asked my mom how on earth she tolerated him. She said, `I have deep respect for who he is and for his values.’ Twenty years later my mother told me the reason she likes me so much is that I’m similar in personality to my father, and she thinks he’s the best there is.
“Or maybe I’ll think of my in-laws. My father-in-law died of cancer before I met my husband, so I never got to meet him. But I will never forget my husband telling me how, late in his father’s illness, he saw his parents looking deep into each other’s eyes and saw in that look a love beyond words. Or maybe I’ll think of my husband. He is a kind, funny, supportive, loving spouse. I pray that we will live long enough to receive golden anniversary cards.”
Sarah: “During our marriage, Darryl has been kind, funny, generous, loyal and hard-working. He helped put me through grad school, made sure my grade-point average was up, and got up at 5 on the morning of my final comps exam to give me an encouraging pep talk. … He encouraged and supported me when I was downsized from not one but two jobs. He treats my parents as kindly as his own. When our daughter was born in 2003, he was unofficially voted Most Excited Dad in the history of the hospital. He brought me a beautiful necklace with her birthstone in it and a cedar porch swing so I could sit out on the front porch with her.
“Sure, we have arguments, and he doesn’t always pick up his dirty laundry or put his dishes in the dishwasher. But he’s the best husband, father and friend anyone could have wished for. This May, we’ll celebrate 10 years and are looking forward to years 25 and 50 as well.”
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E-mail your relationship problems and tales to Cheryllavin@aol.com.
