TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: So how was your Valentine’s Day?
TOPIC 2: What sport would you like to cancel?
TOPIC 3: What would the title of your autobiography be?
TOPIC 4: Do you believe Canseco when he writes that Mark McGwire used steroids?
TOPIC 5: Describe your bowling style.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Huh. Interesting you should mention that. What time do the stores close?
Fifth-grade dodgeball. It’s a pure form of evil.
“My Life (Not Bill Clinton’s, mine. You get the picture)”
I’d believe McGwire more if he denied the charges in front
of a camera.
Very suave. An awful lot like John Travolta dancing in “Pulp Fiction.”
PHIL THOMPSON
I took plenty of fluids so I’m fine. What? We did a lot of walking.
Lingerie football. It’s not representing the true spirit of
lingerie athletics.
“The Autobiography of ‘Hey, You Look Like Malcolm X'”
I’m not sure whether to measure McGwire’s arms or Canseco’s nose.
I’m not a bowler, I’m a baller. I can make melon balls with the best of them.
LEO EBERSOLE
Full of soul and chocolate.
Then I kicked Ruben Studdard out of the apartment.
The biathlon. It just doesn’t make sense.
“Leo Ebersole: The Man, The Myth, The Gullible Publisher”
Yes. Well, maybe. OK, I’m pretty sure it’s actually a no.
I am proficient in tiger crane bowling style.
WHIZZER
Awful. I knocked on every door on my block, and NOBODY had candy.
NASCAR. I’m still embarrassed how I used to bite at the TV.
“Ears to You”
That’s hard to answer. Sometimes I’m not even sure I exist.
I always keep my nose on the ball.
BAG BOY
Making great progress. Next year I plan to talk to a girl.
The WNBA. At least before it gets to Chicago.
“Can’t Face the Truth: The Story of Bag Boy”
Jose has never lied to me yet. One day I hope to meet him.
Just watch Bill Murray in “Kingpin.” Lots of attitude.
