1. Maybe eBay can help
What the hell am I gonna do with my Zamboni now?
2. Some advice
Stay away from Canada for a few weeks. Trust me, they’re not going to want to talk.
3. This could happen
Lawyers will take turns spending a day with the Stanley Cup during the off-season.
4. Finally, it happened
I scored as many goals this season as Brett Hull.
5. Make them stop
Next year at Harry Caray’s Restaurant: The Bartman
baseball is hired as a sous-chef.
6. Westminster rules
In the dog show world, a “free stack” is when a dog strikes a pose and holds still to win over the judge. In my world, it’s dining and ditching at Denny’s.
7. Heel, Stan
I really do like dog shows. I just hope humans never figure out our grading system for them.
8. What a loud silence
So two or three players have admitted using steroids. Anybody else want to speak up?
We’ll wait.
9. Follow the money
Boston’s Trot Nixon says Alex Rodriguez isn’t the “Yankee type,” and I’m wondering what part of $25 million doesn’t Nixon understand?
———-
FIVE REASONS…
… pitchers and catchers report early
1. Arizona and Florida have
really good cable.
2. It’s just so tiring asking the wife, “Want to play catch?”
3. They really need the overtime.
4. It’s the remnants of a Babe Ruth prank they never caught on to.
5. They can’t tell time.
———-
redeyesports@tribune.com
