TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Looks like Jose Canseco needs cash. Any ideas?
TOPIC 2: Marquette’s Travis Diener played his cousin Drake Diener of DePaul Sunday. Imagine the trash talk.
TOPIC 3: stuntmen want their own Academy Award category. What sport should get an Oscars category?
TOPIC 4: The NHL season has now been canceled twice in one week. What does this remind you of?
TOPIC 5: If someone had told you last fall that Illinois would start 27-0, what would you have said?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Make up plausible fiction about ex-teammates and publish a book.
Travis: “Your grandma sucks eggs!” Drake: “Uh, that’s your grandma too.” Travis: “Dammit!”
Figure skating. Why? I have no idea. But I’m dead on.
Having my credit card refused, begging the waiter to try it again, then leaving humiliated.
“You’re saying the name wrong. It’s pronounced ‘Duke.’ “
PHIL THOMPSON
He could write a “For Dummies” book. No subject needed.
“Good game. I always wanted a sister.”
All athletic cups get the nod for best supporting supporter.
“Groundhog Day.”
“Next you’ll tell me the Bulls will be in the playoff hunt.”
LEO EBERSOLE
Every other needy celebrity is on VH1. What are you waiting for?
“Who names his kid ‘Drake’?” “Your uncle.” “What’d you say about my uncle?”
Best performance by a soccer player gunning for a yellow card.
It’s like an R. Kelly tour, only with better music.
“Is that against the spread?”
WHIZZER
Hit the Olsen twins up for a loan. Works for me.
“You’re the second-best outside shooter in your family!”
I LOVE THE OSCARS! Paul Giamatti got ripped BIG TIME. Sorry, what was the question?
Mid-summer sitcom programming on The WB.
“Are you from the future?”
BAG BOY
He could sell his soul. I mean, again.
“Good luck in the CBA. I’m on my way to the NBDL!”
College football. And thanks to the BCS, two schools share the top honor every year.
The Blackhawks offense.
Lots of positioning, two late shots, no results and another ugly loss.
“I guess we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.”
